Cherry Kisses
Yesterday, I saw this bloghop hosted by Christine Rains and Cecilia Roberts.
Now I have never written a romantic or kissing scene in my entire life. So I thought that now is a good time to try my hand at one. After all, an element of romance can fit into any genre. So I thought about it overnight. My main fear was, it will definitely sound cheesy… eeeeeek! A thousand questions went through my mind. What would I write about? What characters would I use? These two characters popped into my mind. They don't belong to any specific story. This is how I'd imagine a kissing scene MIGHT play out in one of my yet-to-be-written suspense stories… or who knows, maybe a yet-to-be-considered romance story…
My fictional piece weighs in at about 153 words. Enjoy.
* * * * *
Her hands at her sides.
She didn't flinch.
Didn't move a muscle.
He had never known that lips could taste so… fresh? Was that the word? Yes, fresh. Heck, he had never been aware that lips could have a distinct flavour. Conscious thought during a kiss? Ha, it was the furthest thing from his normal state of mindlessness.
Cherry flavoured lips, alive and pulsating with fresh ripeness which conjured an orchard overflowing in abundance, juicy cherries hanging from every branch.
He had never thought about lips as something living, something seperate, something with a distinct identity…
Her sharp intake of breath and the atmosphere changed.
"So, was it up to your standards? Not too disappointed, I hope?" Her unexpected comment penetrated the mental fog which shrouded the remaining fragments of a receding cherry orchard.
A momentary confusion descended… like an unwanted third party…
"Standards?" He offered lamely. Say something moron, instead of stammering…
Something was wrong? No, dammit, something was right…?
He trailed a finger down the side of her cheek, started to say something, then stopped.
She turned on her heel. A tiny smile flickered at the corner of her mouth.
Staring into the distance, he gazed at the last vestiges of fading cherry blossoms.
* * * * *
So what do you think?
Normal state of mindlessness – yeah, that's usually what's going through our heads.
You did a good job! I didn't even attempt a kissing scene until my second book.
At least I got that out of the way! I can scratch '
kissing scene'off my list of things to still write… 🙂Alex's comment made me smile.
'the mental fog which shrouded the remaining fragments of a receding cherry orchard.'
was just lovely, Michelle.
Yes, I had a chuckle when I read it. Thanks Suze.
Really good job! Kissing scenes are scary to write…and awkward at times. Especially if you have awkward characters like I do 🙂
This made me want some cherry flavored lip gloss…
I think awkward is good… it means the kissing scene is more likely to be unpredictable, compared to a kissing scene between two characters who are comfortable/confident… ? Know what I mean? 🙂
ooo nice job Michelle! Kissing scenes are so much fun to write, aren't they? You did great!
This is my very first kissing scene… it was as nerve-wracking as my very first, actual physical kiss! LOL.
Good job! I wouldn't even know where to begin to write a real kissing scene! 😉
It was do or die… I just took the plunge… and enjoyed the challenge! 🙂 Not sure how often I will be writing these types of scenes though…
Very nice – I'd like to know more. The mindlessness? Definitely . . .
The mindlessness refers to the character's normal "kissing modus operandi"… something is different this time round… (maybe I can develop this into a short, short story… we'll see…)
I enjoyed reading this snippet, Michelle! Good job! lol..I loved that he was thinking lips have a distinct flavour: Must have been some kiss, he is so disoriented. love it! 🙂
I'm so glad the disorientation part came through, because that's what I had hoped to achieve… I can't tell you why because I don't know myself… LOL 🙂 Thanks for hosting this blogfest Cecilia.
Very nice! I want to kiss her. LOL!
Mmmmm… I could write you in as a "third party" in a love triangle?
I thought is was very good. Nice description of him being blown away by a kiss. 🙂
Thanks Nancy. I tried for subtlety, to avoid cheesiness… if you know what I mean…? 🙂
I like how you brought the senses into play. 🙂
Thanks Misha. 🙂
I love the innocence in this scene. I would like to see more of this thoughtful and romantic man of few words. He certainly gave Cheery Lips a lot to think about!
Julie, you gave me a good giggle… "cheery lips"? 🙂 I thought about an approach, and decided that innocence would be the best way to avoid the kiss coming off as cheesy, which was my main concern.
Great writing and awesome kiss setup. Great romance.
Thank you Kelly!
Nicely done, Michelle. Seems he's taken with her to the point where he's not all there. 🙂
Perfect response Joy! 🙂 What I'd hoped to achieve.
I think you did great! 🙂
Thank you Melissa! 🙂
Good job! I wouldn't even know where to begin to write a real kissing scene
I was in the same boat as you. Then I conjured two characters and a scene, and took it from there—–
You've never written any romance? This was nicely done. It's was real and organic. Wonderful hitting on the senses. Thank you for participating in the blogfest.
I've never written romance fiction. I've written love poems (you know those high school "teenage angsty" ones… back in the day…?) Thank you for the wonderful comment and for hosting this awesome blogfest.
Wait, you've never written a kissing scene? They're kind of like what I like writing FOR! 🙂 Well, you'd never be able to tell because this was awesome! Definitely all kinds of character and not cheesy in the slightest.
Thank you Meradeth! 🙂 That means a LOT, coming from somebody who writes these scenes all the time… *happy dance*
Nice. I had to research the subject before ever trying.
I'm wondering what aspect of a kissing scene you researched…? I suppose it depends on the context…
Love this cherry kiss! I used to wear cherry lipgloss at senior school, and everyone chewed spearmint gum. It was a fruity minty kissing period. 🙂 X
Sounds like a delightful phase… mmm… fruity-minty-kissing-period… like the sound of it. 🙂
I think you did a magnificent job! Loved that she walked away with him wordless! Awesome!
Magnificent? I like your choice of word Yolanda. *grinning*
Wow! Very nicely done!!!
Thanks Tyrean!!
I loved it, of course.
Hugs and chocolate,
shelly
Thank you Shelly. My ever-supportive bloggy buddy…
I loved this, Michelle! Can't believe it's your first attempt. I am terrible at writing these kinds of scenes LOL. Great work!
Julie, I can't believe that you're terrible at writing these scenes… how many times have you tried…?
You did a terrific job with this scene. No one could tell it was your first kiss. (So to speak.) There used to be a song, "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine", but cherries? Even sweeter! After reading some of the terrific kissing scenes that have been posted for this bloghop, I'm kinda sorry I didn't participate. Oh well. Maybe next time.
I really had a blast with this. A good learning curve too…
Cherry lipgloss! Gotta love it. Good job with the scene, Michelle.
Thanks L.Diane.
I wasn't brave enough to try my hand at this since my mind doesn't have the first idea of how to handle a kiss- great job being brave and conquering it!
I'm glad I gave it a shot. The responses have been positive… 🙂
Awww so innocent and sweet, love it!
Thank you! 🙂
You're brave to write a kissing scene. I never used to include romance i my writing, but I also decided to take the leap in my 2nd novel. Frankly, it sucked. Thank goodness I got better the more I did it, and the 3rd time was a charm! 🙂
I've been feeling a lot braver these days… so it's a good idea to ride this wave and hope it doesn't come crashing down anytime soon… 🙂
I love how he was completely out of it at the end. ^_^ Good stuff.
Thanks Krystal Jane. 🙂
Lovely, very poetic, and sweet.
Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it.
Hey Michelle,
Yes, finally, I've arrived. So what do I think? I have no idea! 🙂 Seriously, great post! Thanks for sharing! Okay, enough of that insincere crap!
First of all, one moment please….argggghhhhh!!! blogfests! Sorry about that. However, I feel better. Your kissing scene was beyond any standards I would dare imagine. Nicely done and I guess it's time for me to kiss off 🙂
Have a lovely, lingering weekend, Michelle.
Gary
So you reckon that my scene has a "standard"? That sounds so la-di-dah. Thanks Gary. 🙂
Seems the kiss made a lasting impression 🙂
……….dhole
Yep. Lasting impression that left him at a loss for words. 🙂
Holy crap – that was your first ever kissing scene?! I'm a little bit scared by your talent! AMAZING!
You are the Queen Of Romance writing, so your generous comment is greatly appreciated! Thank you Kyra. You have made my day.
Wow. That was a stunning scene! And now I'm having a craving for cherries!
You know what? I'm not really a lover of cherries… I always pass them on to hubby… 🙂
I quite enjoyed you kissing scene. It wasn't too itnrusive and felt real. Here's to many more! 🙂 Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Thanks for the generous comment. 🙂 *waving*
Lovely Michelle. You captured so much emotion from his point of view. Glad he has moved from his usual state of mindlessness, lol! I love the way you weaved the senses into the scene with the taste of cherries and the sight of cherry blossoms. Her sense of humour was evident too. Well done for your FIRST kissing scene. You have the knack. Many more please!
Denise, I'm excited about your comment. Thank you. As a teen, I devoured Mills & Boon romances, but that was a long long time ago… and thereafter, it was Danielle Steele books… I can remember my mum used to buy them whenever a new one was released… 🙂
Nicely done! I wouldn't have guessed that was your first smoochy scene 🙂