Cherry Kisses

Yesterday, I saw this bloghop hosted by Christine Rains and Cecilia Roberts.

                                               

Now I have never written a romantic or kissing scene in my entire life. So I thought that now is a good time to try my hand at one. After all, an element of romance can fit into any genre. So I thought about it overnight. My main fear was, it will definitely sound cheesy… eeeeeek! A thousand questions went through my mind. What would I write about? What characters would I use? These two characters popped into my mind. They don't belong to any specific story. This is how I'd imagine a kissing scene MIGHT play out in one of my yet-to-be-written suspense stories… or who knows, maybe a yet-to-be-considered romance story…

My fictional piece weighs in at about 153 words. Enjoy.

                            *          *          *          *          *

Her hands at her sides.

She didn't flinch.

Didn't move a muscle.

He had never known that lips could taste so… fresh? Was that the word? Yes, fresh. Heck, he had never been aware that lips could have a distinct flavour. Conscious thought during a kiss? Ha, it was the furthest thing from his normal state of mindlessness.

Cherry flavoured lips, alive and pulsating with fresh ripeness which conjured an orchard overflowing in abundance, juicy cherries hanging from every branch.

He had never thought about lips as something living, something seperate, something with a distinct identity…

Her sharp intake of breath and the atmosphere changed.

"So, was it up to your standards? Not too disappointed, I hope?" Her unexpected comment penetrated the mental fog which shrouded the remaining fragments of a receding cherry orchard.

A momentary confusion descended… like an unwanted third party…

"Standards?" He offered lamely. Say something moron, instead of stammering…

Something was wrong? No, dammit, something was right…?

He trailed a finger down the side of her cheek, started to say something, then stopped.

She turned on her heel. A tiny smile flickered at the corner of her mouth.

Staring into the distance, he gazed at the last vestiges of fading cherry blossoms.

                            *          *          *          *          *

So what do you think?

73 Comments

  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh on September 12, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Normal state of mindlessness – yeah, that's usually what's going through our heads.

    You did a good job! I didn't even attempt a kissing scene until my second book.

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:17 am

      At least I got that out of the way! I can scratch 'kissing scene' off my list of things to still write… 🙂

      • Suze on September 13, 2013 at 5:51 pm

        Alex's comment made me smile.

         

        'the mental fog which shrouded the remaining fragments of a receding cherry orchard.'

         

        was just lovely, Michelle.

        • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:14 pm

          Yes, I had a chuckle when I read it. Thanks Suze.

  2. Jen on September 12, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    Really good job! Kissing scenes are scary to write…and awkward at times. Especially if you have awkward characters like I do 🙂

    This made me want some cherry flavored lip gloss…

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:20 am

      I think awkward is good… it means the kissing scene is more likely to be unpredictable, compared to a kissing scene between two characters who are comfortable/confident… ? Know what I mean? 🙂

  3. PK Hrezo on September 12, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    ooo nice job Michelle! Kissing scenes are so much fun to write, aren't they? You did great!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:21 am

      This is my very first kissing scene… it was as nerve-wracking as my very first, actual physical kiss! LOL.

  4. Sherry Ellis on September 12, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    Good job!  I wouldn't even know where to begin to write a real kissing scene! 😉

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:22 am

      It was do or die… I just took the plunge… and enjoyed the challenge! 🙂 Not sure how often I will be writing these types of scenes though…

  5. janice@jabblog uk on September 12, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    Very nice – I'd like to know more. The mindlessness? Definitely . . .

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:24 am

      The mindlessness refers to the character's normal "kissing modus operandi"… something is different this time round… (maybe I can develop this into a short, short story… we'll see…)

  6. Cecilia Robert on September 12, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    I enjoyed reading this snippet, Michelle! Good job! lol..I loved that he was thinking lips have a distinct flavour: Must have been some kiss, he is so disoriented. love it! 🙂

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:27 am

      I'm so glad the disorientation part came through, because that's what I had hoped to achieve… I can't tell you why because I don't know myself… LOL 🙂 Thanks for hosting this blogfest Cecilia.

  7. Gwen Gardner on September 12, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Very nice! I want to kiss her. LOL!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:28 am

      Mmmmm… I could write you in as a "third party" in a love triangle?

  8. Nancy LaRonda Johnson on September 12, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    I thought is was very good. Nice description of him being blown away by a kiss. 🙂  

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:30 am

      Thanks Nancy. I tried for subtlety, to avoid cheesiness… if you know what I mean…? 🙂

  9. Misha on September 12, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    I like how you brought the senses into play. 🙂

  10. Julie on September 12, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    I love the innocence in this scene. I would like to see more of this thoughtful and romantic man of few words. He certainly gave Cheery Lips a lot to think about!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:32 am

      Julie, you gave me a good giggle… "cheery lips"? 🙂 I thought about an approach, and decided that innocence would be the best way to avoid the kiss coming off as cheesy, which was my main concern.

  11. Kelly on September 12, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    Great writing and awesome kiss setup. Great romance.

  12. J.L. Campbell on September 12, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    Nicely done, Michelle. Seems he's taken with her to the point where he's not all there. 🙂

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:34 am

      Perfect response Joy! 🙂 What I'd hoped to achieve.

  13. Melissa Maygrove on September 12, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    I think you did great! 🙂

  14. laurie g on September 13, 2013 at 12:55 am

    Good job!  I wouldn't even know where to begin to write a real kissing scene

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:36 am

      I was in the same boat as you. Then I conjured two characters and a scene, and took it from there—–

  15. Christine Rains on September 13, 2013 at 2:12 am

    You've never written any romance? This was nicely done. It's was real and organic. Wonderful hitting on the senses. Thank you for participating in the blogfest.

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:38 am

      I've never written romance fiction. I've written love poems (you know those high school "teenage angsty" ones…  back in the day…?) Thank you for the wonderful comment and for hosting this awesome blogfest.

  16. Meradeth on September 13, 2013 at 4:40 am

    Wait, you've never written a kissing scene? They're kind of like what I like writing FOR! 🙂 Well, you'd never be able to tell because this was awesome! Definitely all kinds of character and not cheesy in the slightest.

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:40 am

      Thank you Meradeth! 🙂 That means a LOT, coming from somebody who writes these scenes all the time… *happy dance*

  17. Donna K. Weaver on September 13, 2013 at 8:37 am

    Nice. I had to research the subject before ever trying.

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:42 am

      I'm wondering what aspect of a kissing scene you researched…? I suppose it depends on the context…

  18. Shah Wharton on September 13, 2013 at 9:44 am

    Love this cherry kiss! I used to wear cherry lipgloss at senior school, and everyone chewed spearmint gum. It was a fruity minty kissing period. 🙂 X

    • Michelle Wallace on September 13, 2013 at 11:43 am

      Sounds like a delightful phase… mmm… fruity-minty-kissing-period… like the sound of it. 🙂

  19. Yolanda Renee on September 13, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    I think you did a magnificent job! Loved that she walked away with him wordless! Awesome!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:15 pm

      Magnificent? I like your choice of word Yolanda. *grinning*

  20. Tyrean on September 13, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Wow! Very nicely done!!!

  21. Shelly on September 13, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    I loved it, of course.

    Hugs and chocolate,

    shelly

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      Thank you Shelly. My ever-supportive bloggy buddy…

  22. Julie Flanders on September 13, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    I loved this, Michelle! Can't believe it's your first attempt. I am terrible at writing these kinds of scenes LOL. Great work!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      Julie, I can't believe that you're terrible at writing these scenes… how many times have you tried…?

  23. susan swiderski on September 13, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    You did a terrific job with this scene. No one could tell it was your first kiss. (So to speak.) There used to be a song, "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine", but cherries? Even sweeter! After reading some of the terrific kissing scenes that have been posted for this bloghop, I'm kinda sorry I didn't participate. Oh well. Maybe next time.

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:19 pm

      I really had a blast with this. A good learning curve too…

  24. L. Diane Wolfe on September 13, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    Cherry lipgloss! Gotta love it. Good job with the scene, Michelle.

  25. Beverly Fox on September 13, 2013 at 4:35 pm

    I wasn't brave enough to try my hand at this since my mind doesn't have the first idea of how to handle a kiss- great job being brave and conquering it!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:21 pm

      I'm glad I gave it a shot. The responses have been positive…  🙂

  26. S. Katherine Anthony on September 13, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Awww so innocent and sweet, love it!

  27. Lexa Cain on September 13, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    You're brave to write a kissing scene. I never used to include romance i my writing, but I also decided to take the leap in my 2nd novel. Frankly, it sucked. Thank goodness I got better the more I did it, and the 3rd time was a charm! 🙂

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      I've been feeling a lot braver these days… so it's a good idea to ride this wave and hope it doesn't come crashing down anytime soon… 🙂

  28. krystal jane on September 13, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    I love how he was completely out of it at the end. ^_^ Good stuff. 

  29. Cathrina Constantine on September 13, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    Lovely, very poetic, and sweet.

  30. Gary Philip Pennick on September 14, 2013 at 1:46 am

    Hey Michelle,

    Yes, finally, I've arrived.  So what do I think?  I have no idea! 🙂  Seriously, great post!  Thanks for sharing!  Okay, enough of that insincere crap!

    First of all, one moment please….argggghhhhh!!!  blogfests!  Sorry about that.  However, I feel better.  Your kissing scene was beyond any standards I would dare imagine.  Nicely done and I guess it's time for me to kiss off 🙂

    Have a lovely, lingering weekend, Michelle.

    Gary

     

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:26 pm

      So you reckon that my scene has a "standard"? That sounds so la-di-dah. Thanks Gary. 🙂

  31. Donna Hole on September 14, 2013 at 8:26 am

    Seems the kiss made a lasting impression 🙂

    ……….dhole

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      Yep. Lasting impression that left him at a loss for words. 🙂

  32. Kyra Lennon on September 14, 2013 at 9:04 am

    Holy crap – that was your first ever kissing scene?! I'm a little bit scared by your talent! AMAZING!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 14, 2013 at 3:29 pm

      You are the Queen Of Romance writing, so your generous comment is greatly appreciated! Thank you Kyra. You have made my day.

  33. L.G. Keltner on September 14, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    Wow.  That was a stunning scene!  And now I'm having a craving for cherries!

    • Michelle Wallace on September 15, 2013 at 8:18 am

      You know what? I'm not really a lover of cherries… I always pass them on to hubby… 🙂

  34. A Cuban In London on September 14, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    I quite enjoyed you kissing scene. It wasn't too itnrusive and felt real. Here's to many more! 🙂 Many thanks.

     

    Greetings from London.

  35. Denise Covey on September 14, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    Lovely Michelle. You captured so much emotion from his point of view. Glad he has moved from his usual state of mindlessness, lol! I love the way you weaved the senses into the scene with the taste of cherries and the sight of cherry blossoms. Her sense of humour was evident too. Well done for your FIRST kissing scene. You have the knack. Many more please!

  36. Michelle Wallace on September 15, 2013 at 8:23 am

    Denise, I'm excited about your comment. Thank you. As a teen, I devoured Mills & Boon romances, but that was a long long time ago… and thereafter, it was Danielle Steele books… I can remember my mum used to buy them whenever a new one was released… 🙂

  37. Lara Lacombe on September 17, 2013 at 4:45 am

    Nicely done!  I wouldn't have guessed that was your first smoochy scene 🙂

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