Welcome to the Déjà vu Blogfest…the day to re-post one of your previous blogs from this year. Which one? How about your personal favorite…or one you feel didn’t get the recognition it deserved…or one that garnered the most comments. The choice is totally up to you. For more info, go to D.L. Hammons where you can also check out the other participants.
If you are an animal lover, stop right there! This is definitely NOT the kangaroo you are looking for. This is not that large, muscular-hipped, with a long, thick, sinuous tail, huge feet and big ears that swivel about on a deer-like head creature, that you are expecting to read about. Get that thought out of your head – pronto! Exit this post – immediately!
If you're a "desperate-female-whose-bag-is-always-upside-down-in-spite-of-being-in-possession-of-that-oh-so-wonderful-invention-which-is-guaranteed-by-Glomail-to-ensure-that-the-contents-of-your-bag-are-orderly-and-readily-accessible" — then you'll identify with this post.
Despite having a kangaroo keeper (kk), my bag remains cluttered. Must be something wrong with me. I still collect a stash of envelopes and other odds and ends. The only difference being that there's a sort of organised chaos amongst the contents. Look, I'll admit that the kk is quite handy… when used correctly…
So while I was thinking about the "correct usage" of the kk, I had a brainwave. Maybe one of those uber-geeks, you know the whizz kids who are hot on gadgetry? One of those brainiacs? Could invent a uber-futuristic electronic gadget, to help organize the organizer (does that make sense? sounds kinda nutty?)
Anyway this hand-held device would operate in a similar manner to that clipped, monotonous, hypnotic, staccato-styled voice you hear on the telephone, when you are put on hold as caller no.20 in the queue. You know that dead-alive voice that says : your.call.will.be.answered.in.one.hour.five.minutes.and.twenty.three.seconds. The initial command will be: your.bag.needs.organizing.immediately.please.comply. *giggles*
Maybe a procedure of some sort, as follows:
1. To find out the status of your contents, press once. You have 2 options: option one — sort.out.your.bag.immediately.it.is.in.a.shambles; option two — your.bag.is.organized.thank.you.and.goodbye.
2. If you choose option one, then you have 3 further options: Option 1.1 –basic tidy technique — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.you.are.either.dumb.or.lazy.either way.get.rid.of.your.kk.it.is.of.no.value.to.you.you.will.manage.better.with out.it. Option 1.2 — advanced tidy technique — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.you.are.dumber.than.dumb.proceed the.same.as.basic.tidy.technique. Option 1.3 — the simple truth — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.read.the.following.ten.steps.that.will. help.you.keep.the.contents.tidy.
step one — put some time aside
step two — focus on the task at hand
step three — work in a relaxed atmosphere
step four — avoid distractions
step five — empty all the contents onto a surface
step six — DOES NOT EXIST !!! NOW JUST SORT OUT THE DAMN THING !!! IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE AFTER ALL !!!
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(Confession time: my kangaroo keeper is still in a sorry state and crying out for help… I just can't seem to get down to doing it even though I've tried… *sighs*)