Five Sentence Fiction #10 – SCARLET

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

                                         little_red_riding_hood_2012_movie1-450x337

One woman; two men.

A politician… the town trollop… a man of the cloth.

He said, she said and the truth inbetween.

An indiscretion exposed; a community ripped apart.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

55 Comments

  1. Andy Black on July 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Well done.  I consider one of these tight if I can get close to 100 words.  You did it in less than half of that and effectively.  Nice job

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      Keeping it tight AND retaining the essence of the story is a bit tricky. Thanks Andy.

  2. Elise Fallson on July 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    AWESOME. 
    Loved the "He said, she said and the truth inbetween." And of course the quote, 
    Hell hath no fury…
    You are so good at these Michelle. 

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      … I didn't think this one would turn out right… it just seemed a bit too short… but I wanted to write something with very short sentences for this prompt, instead of the usual long, complex sentences with its many commas and semi-colons… 🙂

  3. Britton Minor on July 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    When will they learn to just let a woman be. No amount of gossip or hate-mingling is going to change her.  Her beauty and allure keeps her in good company…
    Well done!

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      Don't judge another until you've walked a mile in her shoes… or is it red bowed patent leather stilettos (in this situation) 🙂 Thanks Brit!

  4. Alex J. Cavanaugh on July 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    She really went for polar opposites!

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      Yep. As different as chalk and cheese.

  5. Gina West on July 24, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    I really like this.  Even though you used so few words, I have a full understanding of the situation.  I would even say that your brevity gives it a sort of terse feel, which is appropriate to the situation and the woman's anger.
    Next week, I'm going to try and make mine brief as well.  I droned on and on, taking liberties with punctuation.  Oh well.  It was a first go.

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:10 pm

      Welcome to my place, Gina. Thanks for popping in and for the wonderful comment. I really liked your piece.

      I try to alternate between long sentences and short sentences. Some pieces have a mix of long and short sentences. Some pieces have five long sentences. This was the week for five very short sentences. It varies… and depends on the prompt and also on m y mood… 🙂

  6. Sandra Crook on July 24, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Very succinct, very tight.  And very well executed.

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:11 pm

      Thank you Sandra! I appreciate the feedback.

  7. Wayne Assiratti on July 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    I like the idea of this one and something popped into my head right away. See below.
     
    Of late, things in town were getting worse and worse. The newcomers had been taking liberties with land, property and now the women. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they got to her. First with honeyed words that after refusal would turn to curses, knives and taking by force. She picked up the gun. 
     
    Hope you like it and would appreciate the feedback as this is my first stab at this kind of thing.
    Cheers, 
    W. 

  8. Ryan Derham on July 24, 2012 at 8:42 pm

    Powerful, M! The impact of an indiscretion on an entire community may be much less today than it was in Hawthorne’s time, but such things can still have a profound effect. You convey that extremely well!

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:21 pm

      You have a point R. But when it involves a man of the cloth… well, you know… 🙂 And you know the power of the rumour mill etc. in a community…

  9. injaynesworld on July 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    I love the terseness with which you structured this piece, and yet the whole story was crystal clear.
    " He said.  She said. And the truth in between."   Genius of a line.  

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:24 pm

      Thanks Jayne. I'm glad you grasped the story line…

  10. J.L. Campbell on July 24, 2012 at 11:41 pm

    Michelle,
    You do this so well. That something I can still stand to learn. Being succinct. Good job.

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      Joy, every time I write a piece of flash fiction, I try to do something different and learn something new. Thanks for the visit.

  11. Sherry Ellis on July 25, 2012 at 12:34 am

    That's what I call using few words to pack a powerful punch.  Great job!

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      Thanks Sherry. I tried something different, to make it as short as possible.

  12. Lexa Cain on July 25, 2012 at 4:03 am

    Holy cow, Michelle – that was awesome! I don't think I could write a 5-sentence story if my life depended on it. Great work! 😀

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:28 pm

       🙂 How will you know if you haven't tried? Give it a bash! Come on, I dare you! Thanks Lexa.

  13. Carolyn Brown on July 25, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Powerful piece Michelle, loved it depth!

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:29 pm

      Thanks Carolyn. 🙂

  14. tara tyler on July 25, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    read this last night
    very good, a whole story with implications in only 5 sentences.
    and great pic, did you see that movie? enchanting

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      Yes, that's exactly the right word, Tara – implications! 🙂 No, I didn't see that movie. 🙁

  15. Lisa Shambrook on July 25, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Yes, that third line really packed a punch! 

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:31 pm

      Thanks Lisa!

  16. Claudia Del Balso on July 25, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    Your five-sentence story reminded me of Scorned: Love Kills, a show on ID tv. LOL!!! Your story could easily be a poem, too. Well done, Michelle!  🙂

    • michelle on July 25, 2012 at 7:34 pm

      I don't know it. Is it a movie/series? The show's title does seem to match the five sentences. LOL! Thanks Claudia.

  17. Julie on July 25, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Michelle, You really are the master of Five Sentence Fiction! It's amazing how you're able to build such suspense in so few words! 

    • michelle on July 26, 2012 at 8:59 am

      Thanks Julie! I'm not sure about the master part… 🙂 You should read some of the other entries – they're awesome! But I'm working on it, one piece at a time.

  18. mary aalgaard on July 26, 2012 at 1:31 am

    Sounds like words to a movie trailer.

    • michelle on July 26, 2012 at 9:00 am

      Now that you've mentioned it… I can almost see/hear the trailer in my mind's eye/ear… 🙂

  19. Lizzie koch on July 26, 2012 at 9:40 am

    I am in awe in how you have created so much with so little! And it works so well; picturing the characters, the devestation of the town and her wanting revenge. . . Nice. xx 

    • michelle on July 26, 2012 at 10:09 am

      Thanks Lizzie. I also enjoyed your "hot-blooded & blood-thirsty Mr. Louie…" 🙂

  20. Carol Kilgore on July 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    I like this. Next to novels, flash is my favorite form.
    Nice to meet you.

    • michelle on July 26, 2012 at 3:17 pm

      Welcome Carol! Nice to meet you too. :)Thanks for the visit.

  21. Rachna Chhabria on July 26, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Hi Michelle, awesome sentences. Each packs a punch. One fine day, I will summon the guts to particiapte in this 5 sentence fiction.

    • michelle on July 26, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      You've got to give it a go, Rachna. A warning though – it can be addictive! 🙂 Thanks for popping in!

  22. Lillie McFerrin on July 26, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    I dig it 🙂 So much said in those short sentences. Awesome job!!!

    • michelle on July 27, 2012 at 6:35 am

      Thanks for hosting an A-W-E-S-O-M-E challenge Lillie! 🙂

  23. Jocelyn Rish on July 27, 2012 at 1:08 am

    Do not scorn us women – we will make you pay!  Although it sounds like she wasn't really innocent in all of this either.  🙂

  24. michelle on July 27, 2012 at 6:58 am

    Well, there's always two sides to a story… let me re-phrase that…  there's three sides to this story! Why must the woman always be the "bad" one? What about these two males? 🙂

  25. Miranda Hardy on July 27, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Very nicely done. I love this challenge. Great job! 

    • michelle on July 27, 2012 at 4:36 pm

      Thanks Miranda! 🙂

  26. The Golden Eagle on July 27, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    I love all the complexity behind the five lines–there's obviously more to this story. Great picture to go with the prompt, too.

    • michelle on July 27, 2012 at 10:55 pm

      Yes, there's lots more to the story! Thanks G.E.

  27. Medeia Sharif on July 28, 2012 at 7:04 am

    Three very different people…I can picture them all.
    Have a great weekend. 

    • michelle on July 30, 2012 at 9:23 pm

      Thank you, Medeia. I appreciate the feedback!

  28. Lynda R. Young on July 30, 2012 at 12:03 am

    wow, you certainly did pack in a lot in those five sentences! I'm impessed.

    • michelle on July 30, 2012 at 9:25 pm

      Lynda, thanks for visiting and I appreciate the comment! It keeps me inspired.

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