Five Sentence Fiction #10 – SCARLET
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
One woman; two men.
A politician… the town trollop… a man of the cloth.
He said, she said and the truth inbetween.
An indiscretion exposed; a community ripped apart.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!
Well done. I consider one of these tight if I can get close to 100 words. You did it in less than half of that and effectively. Nice job
Keeping it tight AND retaining the essence of the story is a bit tricky. Thanks Andy.
AWESOME.
Loved the "He said, she said and the truth inbetween." And of course the quote,
Hell hath no fury…
You are so good at these Michelle.
… I didn't think this one would turn out right… it just seemed a bit too short… but I wanted to write something with very short sentences for this prompt, instead of the usual long, complex sentences with its many commas and semi-colons… 🙂
When will they learn to just let a woman be. No amount of gossip or hate-mingling is going to change her. Her beauty and allure keeps her in good company…
Well done!
Don't judge another until you've walked a mile in her shoes… or is it red bowed patent leather stilettos (in this situation) 🙂 Thanks Brit!
She really went for polar opposites!
Yep. As different as chalk and cheese.
I really like this. Even though you used so few words, I have a full understanding of the situation. I would even say that your brevity gives it a sort of terse feel, which is appropriate to the situation and the woman's anger.
Next week, I'm going to try and make mine brief as well. I droned on and on, taking liberties with punctuation. Oh well. It was a first go.
Welcome to my place, Gina. Thanks for popping in and for the wonderful comment. I really liked your piece.
I try to alternate between long sentences and short sentences. Some pieces have a mix of long and short sentences. Some pieces have five long sentences. This was the week for five very short sentences. It varies… and depends on the prompt and also on m y mood… 🙂
Very succinct, very tight. And very well executed.
Thank you Sandra! I appreciate the feedback.
I like the idea of this one and something popped into my head right away. See below.
Of late, things in town were getting worse and worse. The newcomers had been taking liberties with land, property and now the women. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they got to her. First with honeyed words that after refusal would turn to curses, knives and taking by force. She picked up the gun.
Hope you like it and would appreciate the feedback as this is my first stab at this kind of thing.
Cheers,
W.
Also, I blogged about this exercise and gave links to your site in it, Hope you don't mind. Link is here http://wassiratti.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/five-sentence-fiction.html
Cheers,
W.
Thanks Wayne. I really enjoyed your take on the prompt. I see that you posted your link on the hostess' site. I look forward to reading more of your pieces.
Powerful, M! The impact of an indiscretion on an entire community may be much less today than it was in Hawthorne’s time, but such things can still have a profound effect. You convey that extremely well!
You have a point R. But when it involves a man of the cloth… well, you know… 🙂 And you know the power of the rumour mill etc. in a community…
I love the terseness with which you structured this piece, and yet the whole story was crystal clear.
" He said. She said. And the truth in between." Genius of a line.
Thanks Jayne. I'm glad you grasped the story line…
Michelle,
You do this so well. That something I can still stand to learn. Being succinct. Good job.
Joy, every time I write a piece of flash fiction, I try to do something different and learn something new. Thanks for the visit.
That's what I call using few words to pack a powerful punch. Great job!
Thanks Sherry. I tried something different, to make it as short as possible.
Holy cow, Michelle – that was awesome! I don't think I could write a 5-sentence story if my life depended on it. Great work! 😀
🙂 How will you know if you haven't tried? Give it a bash! Come on, I dare you! Thanks Lexa.
Powerful piece Michelle, loved it depth!
Thanks Carolyn. 🙂
read this last night
very good, a whole story with implications in only 5 sentences.
and great pic, did you see that movie? enchanting
Yes, that's exactly the right word, Tara – implications! 🙂 No, I didn't see that movie. 🙁
Yes, that third line really packed a punch!
Thanks Lisa!
Your five-sentence story reminded me of Scorned: Love Kills, a show on ID tv. LOL!!! Your story could easily be a poem, too. Well done, Michelle! 🙂
I don't know it. Is it a movie/series? The show's title does seem to match the five sentences. LOL! Thanks Claudia.
Michelle, You really are the master of Five Sentence Fiction! It's amazing how you're able to build such suspense in so few words!
Thanks Julie! I'm not sure about the master part… 🙂 You should read some of the other entries – they're awesome! But I'm working on it, one piece at a time.
Sounds like words to a movie trailer.
Now that you've mentioned it… I can almost see/hear the trailer in my mind's eye/ear… 🙂
I am in awe in how you have created so much with so little! And it works so well; picturing the characters, the devestation of the town and her wanting revenge. . . Nice. xx
Thanks Lizzie. I also enjoyed your "hot-blooded & blood-thirsty Mr. Louie…" 🙂
I like this. Next to novels, flash is my favorite form.
Nice to meet you.
Welcome Carol! Nice to meet you too. :)Thanks for the visit.
Hi Michelle, awesome sentences. Each packs a punch. One fine day, I will summon the guts to particiapte in this 5 sentence fiction.
You've got to give it a go, Rachna. A warning though – it can be addictive! 🙂 Thanks for popping in!
I dig it 🙂 So much said in those short sentences. Awesome job!!!
Thanks for hosting an A-W-E-S-O-M-E challenge Lillie! 🙂
Do not scorn us women – we will make you pay! Although it sounds like she wasn't really innocent in all of this either. 🙂
Well, there's always two sides to a story… let me re-phrase that… there's three sides to this story! Why must the woman always be the "bad" one? What about these two males? 🙂
Very nicely done. I love this challenge. Great job!
Thanks Miranda! 🙂
I love all the complexity behind the five lines–there's obviously more to this story. Great picture to go with the prompt, too.
Yes, there's lots more to the story! Thanks G.E.
Three very different people…I can picture them all.
Have a great weekend.
Thank you, Medeia. I appreciate the feedback!
wow, you certainly did pack in a lot in those five sentences! I'm impessed.
Lynda, thanks for visiting and I appreciate the comment! It keeps me inspired.