Five Sentence Fiction #1 – SOMBRERO

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.


A bare-midriffed flamenco dancer gyrated in response to a Spanish guitarist, grabbing the attention of the throngs, as the festivities reached a fever pitch.

The crowd stomped and cheered as the dancer twirled round and round, castanets clicking feverishly…

In the throes of an ecstatic finale, her animated face contorted and glistened with tiny beaded droplets.

Nobody bothered much with a nearby spectator, who appeared uncomfortable and out of place, a broad grin plastered across his face which failed to reach the steely eyes, veiled by a straw sombrero.

Whistles and jeers carried the momentum forward, propelled the dancer to a frenzied heart-stopping moment… and a shot rang out!


  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh on May 10, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Well, that was her last dance!
    You packed a lot into those five sentences.

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      You sound very sure about that… *sly smile* 🙂

  2. Jessica Foster on May 11, 2012 at 5:55 am

    Oh excellent five sentences. I love how you build the tension, but the neding isn't predictable. Great job.

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      I'm glad the ending caught you by surprise…  I think… (it did, didn't it?… surprise you?…)

  3. Sandra Crook on May 11, 2012 at 7:55 am

    You certainly captured the drama of this, and the pace was excellent!  Well done.

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:03 pm

      I think Spanish dancing requires drama… such a fiery, passionate dance… thanks Sandra. Welcome to my place. I really loved your place too…

  4. Elise Fallson on May 11, 2012 at 11:33 am

    NOOOOO! I was there! I could see her dance, hear the music, and feel the beat. The shot missed! It wasn't for her, it was for someone else!
    I always get into your writing lol! Love it!  (:  

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      YEEEEESSSS *laughing*  The shot missed – yes! It was for someone else – no! Does that help? Put you out of your misery? A little?

  5. tara tyler on May 11, 2012 at 11:42 am

    ole! what happens next!??

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      Your guess is as good as mine… 🙂

  6. Rachna Chhabria on May 11, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    You sure packed a lot of punch in those 5 brilliant sentences. I could just visualize the dance and hear the music. 

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:07 pm

      I tried to keep the sentences as interesting as possible, without "over-cooking" them with too much info… thanks!

  7. Rachna Chhabria on May 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    Hi Michelle, please let me know how I can follow your blog? I am unable to follow it via Blogger 🙁

    • michelle on May 11, 2012 at 2:10 pm

      You should get the Linky Followers Widget (I have one on my side-bar). It seems to be growing in popularity… lots of bloggers have it.

      Another option is to subscribe to blog updates via e-mail (also on my side-bar). Let me know what happens… thanks for visiting!

  8. J.L. Campbell on May 11, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    That was quite intense, Michelle. Putting myself there, I imagine that it would have taken a moment or two for the crowd to understand what happened.

    • michelle on May 12, 2012 at 12:55 am

      I'm so glad you were "in the moment" and experienced the intensity… the crowd would have been mesmerised by the performance and caught offguard when the shot rang out… you're so right, it would have taken them a moment or two to comprehend…

  9. injaynesworld on May 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Colorful and exciting all the way through and a cliffhanger at the end!   Who could want more?    Very fun piece.  

    • michelle on May 12, 2012 at 12:57 am

      Thank you for the exciting comment. Glad you were entertained by the piece.

  10. Sherry Ellis on May 12, 2012 at 12:36 am

    …And a shot rang out.  Love the suspense!

  11. michelle on May 12, 2012 at 12:57 am

    Suspense is the name of my game… 🙂

  12. Donna B. McNicol [@donnabmcnicol] on May 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Great pacing and tension…makes me want to hear more of the story!

  13. michelle on May 12, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Thanks Donna!

  14. Ryan Derham on May 12, 2012 at 7:21 pm

    Beautiful description depicting the frenzy and romance of Spanish dance and creating the right atmosphere for a very dramatic conclusion!

  15. michelle on May 12, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    Hey Ryan, nice of you to visit! Thanks for the comment! I'm off to your blog now——–

  16. k~ on May 12, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    Feverishly festive, I could picture the dance as I read the words you wrote.

    • michelle on May 12, 2012 at 9:25 pm

      Love the alliterative description… says it all! 🙂

  17. Shelly on May 13, 2012 at 12:59 am

    Who got shot? Not the dancer.

  18. michelle on May 13, 2012 at 6:33 am

    FYI… Lady Luck was on her side… she survived the ordeal!

  19. Carolyn Brown on May 13, 2012 at 8:32 am

    A very colourful description, makes me feel as though I am there. Well done!

    • michelle on May 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

      Thanks Carolyn! 🙂

  20. Mina B. on May 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Awesome!  And in 5 sentences too.  Great job as usual. 🙂

    • michelle on May 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      It's the first time that I'm attempting this Five Sentence Fiction – quite enjoyed it! 🙂

  21. Debbie on May 15, 2012 at 4:03 am

    You had me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the surprise ending. Loved the pace of this one.

    • michelle on May 15, 2012 at 7:43 am

      I'm so happy you popped in, Debbie! Glad you were caught up in the moment… 🙂

  22. Stephanie on May 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Gorgeous descriptions! I could see the scene play out in my mind. The ending went out with a bang!! (no pun intended) Nice work!!

  23. michelle on May 15, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks for visiting Stephanie. I also enjoyed your colourful, skillfully crafted sombrero-tale!

  24. Catherine Noble on May 17, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Excellent desciption of the scene, Michelle, the passion is dripping off the words!
    Did the Spanish Guitar get it? Haha

  25. michelle on May 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

    That cracked me up, Catherine… yes, the guitar "got it" allright, and began "playing to a different tune". Haha!

  26. Lizzie Loodles on May 18, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    Oh noooooo!!! I loved this! Could feel the dancer's intense passion. Then snuffed out like a candle, in a blink of an eye. . . . Brilliant. x

  27. michelle on May 19, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Welcome to my place, Lizzie. Thanks for the visit and wonderful comment! I also enjoyed your "throw it in the bin" take on this prompt.. Lovely…

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