FOURTH CAMPAIGN: Challenge no. #2

by Michelle Wallace on March 9, 2012

This is the second challenge for the campaign. Go here for more information. I must admit that I battled with this one, but I was determined to complete it.

I've used the 4 pictures in my 200-word story which is written in a mixture of sci-fi… and something else? Totally out of my comfort zone!

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"Do you remember the early days?"

"Don't I ever…" he chuckled.

"… the self-combustible fruit—-"

"—- was the highlight of my career! Talk about the 'fruit' of my labours."

                                                

"Come, put this on." The metal hat on her head was connected to wires. He activated a switch.

A variety of images assaulted her eyes.

"Welcome to my Retinograph. Images are projected from your brain onto the screen."

Horrific scenes of poverty-stricken children flashed before her eyes. She blinked thrice. The images changed.

                                                    

"And the best is yet to come. Are you ready?"

"Is it safe?"

"As safe as can be. I ventured a little farther back, yesterday…"

Her eyes popped. "I don't believe you! What was it like?"

"Exhilirating! I left your red jacket behind."

                                               

"My jacket? Whatever for?"

"Well, I traded it for a football."

"A football?"

"Not just any ball, mind you… try 1930?" He peered down his pince-nez.

"The first World Cup soccer ball? You didn't!"

"Stand here. In a short while we'll be on the adventure of a lifetime."

There was a low hum. High voltage generated static. Various objects crackled lightly. A shimmer appeared and translated into a beam of white light which flashed… brilliant… and———

                                                

If you want to vote for me, I'm no. 103 on the linky list.

{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenn Baker March 9, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I like how these all flow in and I am a stickler for dialogue so using it was a great choice to not have to worry about segueways and such.

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Jenn Baker March 9, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Oh yeah, my entry was #84. Happy writing (and reading)!

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Using dialogue seemed to be the best way for me to approach this challenge… thanks!

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The Golden Eagle March 10, 2012 at 1:28 am

Ah, cliffhanger! Now I want to know to where they travel. Great entry. :)

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Thanks Eagle. Phew, this sci-fi thingie was quite a challenge for me… :)

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Sarah Pearson March 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

I'm with Eagle, where to next ? :-)

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I barely made it through this challenge and you want to know what happens after? :)

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Rek March 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

Wonderful writing keeping us on the edge. Now you have to expand it a little more. Sound like you could write more in the sci fi genre. ;)

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Rek… me writing more in this genre? I'm not sure about that… thanks for the vote of confidence, though… :)

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Liza March 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Oh, I liked this.  I liked the whole idea of the retinography and experiencing history through the "eyes" of another. Well done! (#30)
 

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Thanks Liza. I took a chance and gave it my best shot!

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Morgan Shamy March 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Wonderful job here! Verrrry fun. You have a unique style and the way you approached the prompts was fun! :D

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mish March 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I'm glad that you enjoyed it!  :)

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Elise Fallson March 10, 2012 at 8:52 pm

No, not a cliffhanger!! Like so many other comments, I too want to read more. Your dialogue is great, not forced and flows nicely. Wish there was more… (:

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mish March 10, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Thanks Elise – you have to blame the 200-word limit which put an end to the possibility of more…:)

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Nick Wilford March 11, 2012 at 7:54 am

This was great fun to read and a very innovative idea. Smooth use of the prompts. Very nice!

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mish March 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

My aim was to create a smooth transition from one prompt to another… which was very difficult. Thanks!

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Mina B March 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Amazing job! I loved how your characters played off one another. :0)

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mish March 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Thanks for popping in, Mina! :)

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Jarm Del Boccio March 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Well done, Mich…I like the idea of including the photos!  I'm giving you a "like".  If you get the chance, stop by and check out my entry #70

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mish March 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Thanks Jarm – I'm off to check it out now——- *whoosh*

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C.M. Brown March 12, 2012 at 11:45 am

Mish, you seem to have a great personality and it comes out in your writing! I really enjoyed this, going to Rach's to hit the "like"! See ya!

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mish March 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Aww C.M. Thanks for the compliment! :) It means a lot to me because I struggled with this challenge!

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Margo Kelly March 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

HELLO!  I tagged you on my blog today. :)

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mish March 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Hi Margo! I'm off to check it out———- :)

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Fairview March 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Oh nice.  I like the time travel concept,  Nice use of the prompts!  Definitely want to know what happens next.

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mish March 12, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Thanks Fairview!

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C.B. Wentworth March 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Wow – this is very innovative!  I haven't read anything quite like it and I really enjoyed the change of pace.  Great use of dialogue to tell this very unique story!  

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mish March 12, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Thank you C.B. I appreciate the feedback!

I've just visited your blog and read your piece. I must say that for your first attempt at fantasy, your flash fic is excellent!

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Guilie March 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Hi Mish! Yes, I'm still alive (and working on that letter–shame on me). In the meantime, I left you a tag for the Lucky 7 Meme on my blog. Hope you have fun with it!

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mish March 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Hey G – how ya doin'? I'll hop over in a minute and check it out… :)

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Jessica Salyer March 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Great job, especially since it's not in your genre. (I would of never known.) I agree with the others… Where to next? :)

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mish March 13, 2012 at 8:02 am

Where to next? Me and the sci-fi genre… highly improbable… not gonna happen! :) I've never ever thought about it!

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Jocelyn Rish March 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I'm always impressed when people tell a story mostly through dialog.  And pince-nez?  Love it – you don't see those mentioned very often! :-)

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mish March 13, 2012 at 8:10 am

Well, I figured out that , since I wanted to use a different genre, and sci-fi seemed to be the obvious option, it was best to get through this daunting challenge by using mainly dialogue. So that was the main focus of my response! :)

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Chrissy March 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

I really enjoyed the dialogue. Well done. 

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mish March 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Thanks Chrissy! :)

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Honey March 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Great dialogue!  It's not always easy to have a natural flow about it but you did a good job!

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mish March 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm

From the comments thus far, it seems like opting for the dialogue-route was the correct approach for this particular challenge… thanks Honey!

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Stacey Mitchell March 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I can totally relate to what you're saying about struggling with this challenge, but your entry doesn't read like you had a hard time! It's great seeing people write in different genres than they usually do and I really enjoyed reading this :-)

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mish March 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Well, that certainly makes me feel good! Thanks for the visit and the warm comments! I appreciate it! :)

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Arlee Bird March 14, 2012 at 4:33 am

This sounds like the start of an excellent adventure.  Good concept.
 
 
Lee
An A to Z Co-Host
<a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/">Tossing It Out</a>
<a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/see-to-z-videos-here.html"&gt; Voting for A to Z Video Contest Now Open</a>
 

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mish March 14, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Thanks for the visit & comment, Lee!

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Shannon Lawrence March 15, 2012 at 6:00 am

Interesting concept!  I like the Retinograph.
 
<a href="thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/">Shannon at The Warrior Muse</a>, co-host of the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/">2012 #atozchallenge</a>!  Twitter: @AprilA2Z

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