8.00 p.m. Tryst

This challenge is from Write On Edge.   


 Instruction:  This week we asked you to give us 8:00 -AM or PM, fiction or creative non-fiction- but 8:00. In 200 words or less.

We’ll go wherever you decided to lead us to and absolutely can’t wait to meet you there!

So here is my fictional piece which weighs in at 114 words.

Her expectant ear detected the first strain. The lone, haunting sound of a flute. It filled the air, shattering the stark serenity of the twilight hour. She wondered, yet again, about the source of that heartbreaking yet nostalgic melody that penetrated the darkness.

For three weeks, the wistful melody had become her constant companion, like a faithful ally helping to soothe her fears. She embraced it as one would an old familiar friend.

Seconds, or was it minutes, or an hour maybe, passed…

She waited expectantly, with bated breathe, for the dying strains, which lingered imperceptibly, almost painfully, and then receded into the distant night, becoming fainter and fainter…

Silence reigned supreme once more.


  1. Karen @ Time Crafted on November 4, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I can hear the haunting flute's melody and am curious for more. And I love the lingering effects of a last note, hanging on the air. :>

  2. Gayletrini on November 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    I like this.
    Kind of haunting but reassuring.

  3. Jenny S. Morris on November 4, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Nice. I would love to hear the music, you describe it so well.

  4. Nancy C on November 4, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Oh, that is haunting indeed. I loved the mystery you weaved into the melody!

  5. Megan - Best of Fates on November 4, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Beautiful – haunting yet peaceful at the same time.

  6. Cameron on November 4, 2011 at 11:50 pm

    The idea of a recurring melody that both haunts and soothes is very compelling.

  7. Shelly on November 5, 2011 at 12:42 am

    Mish, you always do a nice job with these short fiction pieces.

  8. Galit Breen on November 5, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Haunting- love that!
    I adore the way you used the strains of the music to set your tone and mood. 

  9. MJ from iNeedaPlaydate on November 7, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    This is just wonderful!  Well done!  I can not wait to read more 🙂

    • mish on November 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

      Thanks to everybody for the warm and wonderful comments! 🙂 🙂

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