If you are an animal lover , stop right there ! This is definitely NOT the kangaroo you are looking for . This is not that large , muscular-hipped , with a long , thick , sinuous tail , huge feet and big ears that swivel about on a deer-like head , creature that you are expecting to read about . Get that thought out of your head – pronto ! Exit this post – immediately !
If you're a "desperate-female-whose-bag-is-always-upside-down-in-spite-of-being-in-possession-of-that-oh-so-wonderful-invention-which-is-guaranteed-by-Glomail-to-ensure-that-the-contents-of-your-bag-are-orderly-and-readily-accessible" — then you'll identify with this post .
Despite having a kangaroo keeper (kk) , my bag remains cluttered . Must be something wrong with me . I still collect a stash of envelopes . The only difference being that there's a sort of organised chaos amongst the contents . Look , I'll admit that the kk is quite handy … when used correctly … So while I was thinking about the "correct usage" of the kk , I had a brainwave . Maybe one of those uber-geeks , you know the whizz kids who are hot on gadgetry ? One of those brainiacs ? Could invent a uber-futuristic electronic gadget , to help organize the organizer (does that make sense ? sounds kinda nutty?)
Anyway this hand-held device would operate in a similar manner to that clipped , monotonous , hypnotic , staccato-styled voice you hear on the telephone , when you are put on hold . You know that dead-alive voice that says : your.call.will.be.answered.in.one.hour.five.minutes.and.twenty.three.seconds The initial command will be : your.bag.needs.organizing.immediately.please.comply. *giggles*
Maybe a procedure of some sort , as follows :
1. To find out the status of your contents , press once . You have 2 options : option one — sort.out.your.bag.immediately.it.is.in.a.shambles ; option two — your.bag.is.organized.thank.you.and.goodbye.
2. If you choose option one , then you have 3 further options : Option 1 –basic tidy technique — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.you.are.either.dumb.or.lazy.either way.get.rid.of.your.kk.it.is.of.no.value.to.you.you.will.manage.better.with out.it. Option 2 — advanced tidy technique — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.you.are.dumber.than.dumb.proceed the.same.as.basic.tidy.technique. Option 3 — the simple truth — if.you.have.chosen.this.option.then.read.the.following.ten.steps.that.will. help.you.keep.the.contents.tidy.
step one — put some time aside
step two — focus on the task at hand
step three — work in a relaxed atmosphere
step four — avoid distractions
step five — empty all the contents onto a clear surface
step six — DOES NOT EXIST !!! NOW JUST SORT OUT THE DAMN THING !!! IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE AFTER ALL !!!