Bluebell SSS Prompt No. 2 ~ A Man & His Horse

                                             

It happened more than 20 years ago …

To this day , the folk agree on one thing , the weather was sure strange on that particular day . The morning started off , sunny and clear . The midday sun slipped behind the gathering clouds , peeking out every now and then , until the mist arrived and blotted out the sun . It was strange , they said , the way in which the mist hovered , a thin blanket covering the town …

It happened more than 20 years ago …

The people spoke about it for a long time thereafter … Women discussed it , standing in the queue at the local store ; gathering around the Friday night bingo table ; sitting in a circle at the monthly book club meeting . Men debated the topic over beer at the local pub . Children whispered to one another on the playground . The urban legend was re-told , over and over again

It happened more than 20 years ago …

They say he materialised … appeared … came out of nowhere … through the mist … a man on his horse … a man on a mission … to repay an old debt . Proud and defiant , he sat astride the magnificent beast , as it trotted along the dusty road , as if he had not a care in the world …

It happened more than 20 years ago ...

He left , in the same manner … proud and defiant … he sat astride his horse as it trotted along the dusty road leading out of town … mission accomplished !

 When the local sherriff opened his front door the following morning , he received the surprise of his life .The box was on his doorstep , with a colourful wrapping and fancy bow . And to this day , folks still indulge in heated speculation as to the contents . Some say it contained twenty bars of solid gold . Others insist that it yielded a human finger complete with a gold and diamond ring .

Check out the Bluebell Short Story Slam prompt at : http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/05/short-story-slam-week-2.html

46 Comments

  1. Paulami on May 26, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    awesome story. "it happened more than 20 years ago" line kept the expectation high on and it reached the perfect climax. good one.

    • mish on May 26, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      Thanks for the positive comment !

  2. Jingle on May 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    creative, love happy endings, cheers.

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 12:50 pm

      Thanks Jingle !

  3. thingy on May 26, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    Awesome write. I was glued to the story. : )

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm

      I’m so happy to hear that the story held your attention ! Thanks !

  4. Brownpaperbaggirl on May 27, 2011 at 12:57 am

    This is a fantastic read. I really enjoyed it!

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 12:52 pm

      Thanks for giving my story the thumbs up !

  5. Grammy E on May 27, 2011 at 2:04 am

    That was truly wonderful, I love how your story ended too. IThis would have made John way proud. 🙂

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 12:55 pm

      Thanks , it’s very kind of you to say that it would have made John Wayne proud ! 🙂

  6. Misha on May 27, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    The story was intriguing. Now I'm curious as to the contents. 🙂

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 12:57 pm

      Well then , I’ll have to re-visit the story and work on it some more … 🙂 Time permitting … 🙂

  7. Ava on May 27, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    Nice write. Thank you for this entry. 

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      Nice to meet you and thanks for stopping by !

  8. a.m. trumble on May 27, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    this is great! very unique!

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 9:45 pm

      Thanks for stopping by my blog ~ I appreciate your comments !

  9. Miki on May 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    Great short story! I like how you captured your audience by not giving away what happened 20 years ago right away there by creating a "need to read" connection! 

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 9:49 pm

      Thanks , I tried to draw it out so as to build on the suspense … glad you made the connection !

  10. Taylor Beisler on May 27, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    Nice motif! That definitely keeps the story going. And, the speculation was a nice touch, getting us involved in what's in the box! And, who the cowboy really is. 😉
    God bless,
    Taylor Beisler
    http://www.taylorbeisler.com

    • mish on May 27, 2011 at 10:04 pm

      The motif is really handy in that it adds the feeling of continuity to the story ! I’m happy that somebody is wondering about the contents of the box and the identity of the rider !

  11. dan on May 28, 2011 at 12:37 am

    Very intriguing.  Kept me glued all the way.

    • mish on May 28, 2011 at 7:52 am

      Thanks Dan !

  12. Andy McDonald on May 28, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    Clever to say the least. It happened more than 20 years ago… well done here this prompt was pretty much lost on me.

    • mish on May 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm

      Truth be told , it was pretty much lost on me as well ! I just improvised and came up with the above …

  13. Louise G on May 28, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Love how you repeated the … It happened….
    and how the man appeared and then rode off into the sunset.
     
    Nice!!

    • mish on May 28, 2011 at 9:15 pm

      Thanks Louise ~ a mysterious appearance and exit has a certain appeal … sense of mystery …

  14. WyomingDiva on May 29, 2011 at 3:37 am

    I love how you leave us hanging and thinking at the end, wondering 'which was it?'

    • mish on May 29, 2011 at 11:01 am

      I tried to drag out the suspense right to the end ~ glad it worked !

  15. Butterflies of time on May 29, 2011 at 3:51 am

    Beats me how you can think up such riveting stories based on that pic. I was simply stumped by it Loved the suspense in your story. Keep writing-you have a gift for it.

    • mish on May 29, 2011 at 11:02 am

      I really appreciate your encouraging comments ! Thank you so much !

  16. Genebrother on May 29, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Nice read
    I enjoyed and was left looking for more
    Genebrother

    • mish on May 29, 2011 at 8:53 pm

      Thank you for stopping by !

  17. A.B. Thomas on May 30, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Great way to hold one's attention! now I'm going to be wondering what was in the darn box too!

    • mish on May 30, 2011 at 1:36 pm

      My intention was to keep the reader wondering from beginning to end … and it worked ! Keep on wondering A.B. … GOTCHA ! LOL !

  18. Mindlovemisery on May 30, 2011 at 8:02 am

    I wanted to know more! I was completely captured by your story!

    • mish on May 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm

      Seems like I’ll have to go back to the drawing board and complete the story … mmm … let me see if I can find the time …

  19. Daydreamertoo on May 30, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Thanks for your comment on my offering for the cowboy. For some reason it had gone into the spam folder and as I'm still pretty new to this blogging, I never think to check there.
    This was well written.
    RYN: I grew up with John Wayne. He was one of my male 'heros' and, I guess I've seen so many John Wayne movies and John Wayne really was himself in all of them, I pretty much could imagine him speaking the words that I wrote for the picture. I imagine for younger people who don't know him so well, it would be that they write for the picture and, not the man himself.

    • mish on May 30, 2011 at 1:43 pm

      I think you’re correct in saying that the prompt might be approached differently by younger and older writers … dependent on how much you know about the man himself . You do get youngsters who grow up to be quite knowledgeable with regards to older movies/music etc.
      Thanks for popping in and leaving a comment .

  20. Ina on May 30, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Good end as well as the rest, what could have been in the box,  loveletters…?

    • mish on May 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm

      Thanks Ina … as to what’s in the box …? Now that would be giving it away ! Loveletters ? Who knows ! It’s a possibility … 🙂

  21. lolamouse on May 31, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    I was thinking that there might be a puppy in the box!  LOL!

    • mish on May 31, 2011 at 4:10 pm

      Thanks lolamouse ~ that is the sweetest suggestion for the contents of the box … sweet & simple might just be the best option since most readers are wrecking their brains over the contents ! LOL !

  22. Shail Raghuvanshi on June 1, 2011 at 7:17 am

    That was very nice Mish. You really built up the expectation… The story was great. Keep writing.

    • mish on June 1, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      Thanks for the kind comment & encouragement , Shail !

  23. lori on June 3, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Legends are funny like that, aren't they? Sometimes spinning right out of control 🙂

    • mish on June 3, 2011 at 7:40 am

      Absolutely ! There’s nothing more controversial than a legend that has been passed down from one generation to the next ! Thanks for swinging by my blog ! 🙂

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