Bluebell SSS Prompt No. 2 ~ A Man & His Horse
It happened more than 20 years ago …
To this day , the folk agree on one thing , the weather was sure strange on that particular day . The morning started off , sunny and clear . The midday sun slipped behind the gathering clouds , peeking out every now and then , until the mist arrived and blotted out the sun . It was strange , they said , the way in which the mist hovered , a thin blanket covering the town …
It happened more than 20 years ago …
The people spoke about it for a long time thereafter … Women discussed it , standing in the queue at the local store ; gathering around the Friday night bingo table ; sitting in a circle at the monthly book club meeting . Men debated the topic over beer at the local pub . Children whispered to one another on the playground . The urban legend was re-told , over and over again …
It happened more than 20 years ago …
They say he materialised … appeared … came out of nowhere … through the mist … a man on his horse … a man on a mission … to repay an old debt . Proud and defiant , he sat astride the magnificent beast , as it trotted along the dusty road , as if he had not a care in the world …
It happened more than 20 years ago ...
He left , in the same manner … proud and defiant … he sat astride his horse as it trotted along the dusty road leading out of town … mission accomplished !
When the local sherriff opened his front door the following morning , he received the surprise of his life .The box was on his doorstep , with a colourful wrapping and fancy bow . And to this day , folks still indulge in heated speculation as to the contents . Some say it contained twenty bars of solid gold . Others insist that it yielded a human finger complete with a gold and diamond ring .
Check out the Bluebell Short Story Slam prompt at : http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/05/short-story-slam-week-2.html
awesome story. "it happened more than 20 years ago" line kept the expectation high on and it reached the perfect climax. good one.
Thanks for the positive comment !
creative, love happy endings, cheers.
Thanks Jingle !
Awesome write. I was glued to the story. : )
I’m so happy to hear that the story held your attention ! Thanks !
This is a fantastic read. I really enjoyed it!
Thanks for giving my story the thumbs up !
That was truly wonderful, I love how your story ended too. IThis would have made John way proud. 🙂
Thanks , it’s very kind of you to say that it would have made John Wayne proud ! 🙂
The story was intriguing. Now I'm curious as to the contents. 🙂
Well then , I’ll have to re-visit the story and work on it some more … 🙂 Time permitting … 🙂
Nice write. Thank you for this entry.
Nice to meet you and thanks for stopping by !
this is great! very unique!
Thanks for stopping by my blog ~ I appreciate your comments !
Great short story! I like how you captured your audience by not giving away what happened 20 years ago right away there by creating a "need to read" connection!
Thanks , I tried to draw it out so as to build on the suspense … glad you made the connection !
Nice motif! That definitely keeps the story going. And, the speculation was a nice touch, getting us involved in what's in the box! And, who the cowboy really is. 😉
God bless,
Taylor Beisler
http://www.taylorbeisler.com
The motif is really handy in that it adds the feeling of continuity to the story ! I’m happy that somebody is wondering about the contents of the box and the identity of the rider !
Very intriguing. Kept me glued all the way.
Thanks Dan !
Clever to say the least. It happened more than 20 years ago… well done here this prompt was pretty much lost on me.
Truth be told , it was pretty much lost on me as well ! I just improvised and came up with the above …
Love how you repeated the … It happened….
and how the man appeared and then rode off into the sunset.
Nice!!
Thanks Louise ~ a mysterious appearance and exit has a certain appeal … sense of mystery …
I love how you leave us hanging and thinking at the end, wondering 'which was it?'
I tried to drag out the suspense right to the end ~ glad it worked !
Beats me how you can think up such riveting stories based on that pic. I was simply stumped by it Loved the suspense in your story. Keep writing-you have a gift for it.
I really appreciate your encouraging comments ! Thank you so much !
Nice read
I enjoyed and was left looking for more
Genebrother
Thank you for stopping by !
Great way to hold one's attention! now I'm going to be wondering what was in the darn box too!
My intention was to keep the reader wondering from beginning to end … and it worked ! Keep on wondering A.B. … GOTCHA ! LOL !
I wanted to know more! I was completely captured by your story!
Seems like I’ll have to go back to the drawing board and complete the story … mmm … let me see if I can find the time …
Thanks for your comment on my offering for the cowboy. For some reason it had gone into the spam folder and as I'm still pretty new to this blogging, I never think to check there.
This was well written.
RYN: I grew up with John Wayne. He was one of my male 'heros' and, I guess I've seen so many John Wayne movies and John Wayne really was himself in all of them, I pretty much could imagine him speaking the words that I wrote for the picture. I imagine for younger people who don't know him so well, it would be that they write for the picture and, not the man himself.
I think you’re correct in saying that the prompt might be approached differently by younger and older writers … dependent on how much you know about the man himself . You do get youngsters who grow up to be quite knowledgeable with regards to older movies/music etc.
Thanks for popping in and leaving a comment .
Good end as well as the rest, what could have been in the box, loveletters…?
Thanks Ina … as to what’s in the box …? Now that would be giving it away ! Loveletters ? Who knows ! It’s a possibility … 🙂
I was thinking that there might be a puppy in the box! LOL!
Thanks lolamouse ~ that is the sweetest suggestion for the contents of the box … sweet & simple might just be the best option since most readers are wrecking their brains over the contents ! LOL !
That was very nice Mish. You really built up the expectation… The story was great. Keep writing.
Thanks for the kind comment & encouragement , Shail !
Legends are funny like that, aren't they? Sometimes spinning right out of control 🙂
Absolutely ! There’s nothing more controversial than a legend that has been passed down from one generation to the next ! Thanks for swinging by my blog ! 🙂