Bluebell SSS Prompt No. 3 ~ A Grey And Stormy Moment …
The sky is overcast . The atmosphere thick as it sizzles in anticipation . Grey clouds gather … and then , as if the fast-forward remote control button has been activated , the scene speeds up , more and more clouds are added … time moves forward … restless and urgent … like the scenes from a movie , the camera rolling on and on , frame by frame …
Dark grey clouds weigh down , ready to burst open . Forked lightning slashes across the sky to illuminate a dazzling , white panorama of trees and bushes whipped to a frenzy by the wind . Raindrops bounce everywhere – off cars , pavements , running downhill . The heavy drops change into a merciless torrential downpour . The sky unleashes its monster .
Fierce and unrelenting , the rain whips my hair and clothes , driving into my face . A sudden heaviness is the reult of the growing weight of sodden clothing . Water blurs my vision . My heart races in its chest cavity . The floor vibrates with the sound of thunder … louder and louder , like the approach of a marching band , the volume turned up to maximum level . The raindrops become hailstones , pelting down with a vengeance , bigger and bigger . The monster is in full force now ! My heart beats faster and louder … ringing in my ears … fingers and toes tingle … stagger from side to side … I need an escape route , anything to avoid the stones that take on a life of their own … larger and larger … I need an escape route … stretch out my hands to try and shield my face … gasp for breath … I need an escape route … and … and …
I sit bolt upright ! A wave of dizziness attacks and then passes . The momentary disorientation leaves me confused … vulnerable … The erratic heartbeat slows down , ever so gently … one , two , three … deep and even breaths . Eyes squeeze shut and then open as a semblance of normality returns . My head clears little by little . The images fade away … replaced by the familiarity of my bedroom sanctuary .
Check out the Bluebell Short Story Slam prompt at http://bluebellbooks.blogspot.com/2011/06/thursday-short-story-slam.html
Very intense and mesmerziging really you did a fantastic job describing the fury of a storm!
Thanks for your thumbs-up on my piece !
Wow. Very intense, powerful imagery.
I’m really glad that you picked up on the intensity – that was my intention with this piece !
Great imagery about a pretty intense nightmare. I have woken up with my heart racing before. Nice to find the comfort of your own bedroom after an ordeal like that!
A small correction, if I may point out–paragraph 3 Line 2, missing "s" in result. I do that all the time, and usually catch it eventually!
You commented on my post and the form I used. Shadow Poetry is a great resource for Poetry formats. Click on the format, and there is a description and examples. Sharing the link below:
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html
Thanks for the extra info – I will check it out !
Thanks for pointing out the typo error as well ! Amazingly , these types of errors don’t occur in my hand written pieces …
Oops! Should read, You commented on my post 'about' the form… sorry!
No problem – your editor out on lunch at that particular moment ? LOL
Some storm eh! I was never scared of thunder & lightening storms until I visited a friend who lives an hour drive from New Orleans. The thunder there was so deep, so long, and so loud, it actually shook a concrete floor of a warehouse I was in. Their power and energy are awesome to see, from a safe distance but, since I experienced that, I know even more so the enormous damage they can cause andthe after effects of that damage too.
Great, descriptive writing, thanks for visiting me and the lovely comment. 🙂
You are more than welcome , Daydreamertoo 🙂
I’ve never experienced a bad storm , not the kind you’ve described … must be terrifying …
Very intense, indeed! Love the way you used short sentences, it really fused with the imagery you used. Made my own breath quicken.
Well done!
Thanks for your kind comments , Bryce ! From your response , it would appear that I’ve achieved my goal with this piece of writing ! I’m glad that you were “in the moment” and not just reading about it !
reading your entry is such an enjoymernt, very dynamic and powerful wording.
a job brilliantly done.
🙂
Thanks a million , Jingle 🙂 I am so pleased that you enjoyed the piece . I really enjoyed writing it , too !
You had my heart pounding.
Your “pounding heart” makes mine swell up with joy ! Thank you for letting me know !
I am so happy to see the varied and lovely dimensions of monsoon times this thursday rally…Cool…THat's really fantastic write…Thanks for share…..
Welcome to my blog and thank you for the comment ! 🙂
wow, I love reading all this about storms! very evocative! 😀
Thank you for visiting my blog and for the cool comment ! 🙂
Remarkable write — I am catching my breath! Our country is oftentimes visited by storms and it's worrisome each time. Not to mention the storms within as well 😉
I sometimes think that the internal storms cause more damage than the external ones , simply because they’re hidden and can go undetected for a long time . Thanks for the visit !
excellent job! had a nite like that last week!
Hey TTT ~ good to see you back in Blogland ! Thanks for popping in !
A good picturisation Mish. Good one….
Thanks Shail ! 🙂