Bluebell SSS Prompt No. 3 ~ A Grey And Stormy Moment …


The sky is overcast . The atmosphere thick as it sizzles in anticipation . Grey clouds gather … and then , as if the fast-forward remote control button has been activated , the scene speeds up , more and more clouds are added … time moves forward … restless and urgent … like the scenes from a movie , the camera rolling on and on , frame by frame …

Dark grey clouds weigh down , ready to burst open . Forked lightning slashes across the sky to illuminate a dazzling , white panorama of trees and bushes whipped to a frenzy by the wind . Raindrops bounce everywhere – off cars , pavements , running downhill . The heavy drops change into a merciless torrential downpour . The sky unleashes its monster .

Fierce and unrelenting , the rain whips my hair and clothes , driving into my face . A sudden heaviness is the reult of the growing weight of sodden clothing . Water blurs my vision . My heart races in its chest cavity . The floor vibrates with the sound of thunder … louder and louder , like the approach of a marching band , the volume turned up to maximum level . The raindrops become hailstones , pelting down with a vengeance , bigger and bigger . The monster is in full force now ! My heart beats faster and louder … ringing in my ears … fingers and toes tingle … stagger from side to side … I need an escape route , anything to avoid the stones that take on a life of their own …  larger and larger … I need an escape route … stretch out my hands to try and shield my face … gasp for breath … I need an escape route … and … and …

I sit bolt upright ! A wave of dizziness attacks and then passes . The momentary disorientation leaves me confused … vulnerable … The erratic heartbeat slows down , ever so gently … one , two , three … deep and even breaths . Eyes squeeze shut and then open as a semblance of normality returns . My head clears little by little . The images fade away … replaced by the familiarity of my bedroom sanctuary .

Check out the Bluebell Short Story Slam prompt at


  1. Mindlovemisery on June 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Very intense and mesmerziging really you did a fantastic job describing the fury of a storm!

    • mish on June 11, 2011 at 5:54 pm

      Thanks for your thumbs-up on my piece !

  2. Andy McDonald on June 11, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Wow. Very intense, powerful imagery.

    • mish on June 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm

      I’m really glad that you picked up on the intensity – that was my intention with this piece !

  3. Ginny on June 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Great imagery about a pretty intense nightmare. I have woken up with my heart racing before. Nice to find the comfort of your own bedroom after an ordeal like that! 
    A small correction, if I may point out–paragraph 3 Line 2, missing "s" in result. I do that all the time,  and usually catch it eventually!
    You commented on my post and the form I used. Shadow Poetry is a great resource for Poetry formats. Click on the format, and there is a description and examples. Sharing the link below:

    • mish on June 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      Thanks for the extra info – I will check it out !
      Thanks for pointing out the typo error as well ! Amazingly , these types of errors don’t occur in my hand written pieces …

  4. Ginny on June 11, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Oops! Should read, You commented on my post 'about' the form… sorry!

    • mish on June 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      No problem – your editor out on lunch at that particular moment ? LOL

  5. Daydreamertoo on June 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    Some storm eh! I was never scared of thunder & lightening storms until I visited a friend who lives an hour drive from New Orleans. The thunder there was so deep, so long, and so loud, it actually shook a concrete floor of a warehouse I was in.  Their power and energy are awesome to see, from a safe distance but, since I experienced that, I know even more so the enormous damage they can cause andthe after effects of that damage too.
    Great, descriptive writing, thanks for visiting me and the lovely comment. 🙂

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

      You are more than welcome , Daydreamertoo 🙂
      I’ve never experienced a bad storm , not the kind you’ve described … must be terrifying …

  6. Bryce Daniels on June 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    Very intense, indeed! Love the way you used short sentences, it really fused with the imagery you used. Made my own breath quicken.
    Well done!

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 10:52 am

      Thanks for your kind comments , Bryce ! From your response , it would appear that I’ve achieved my goal with this piece of writing ! I’m glad that you were “in the moment” and not just reading about it !

  7. Jingle on June 11, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    reading your entry is such an enjoymernt, very dynamic and powerful wording.
    a job brilliantly done.

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 10:54 am

      Thanks a million , Jingle 🙂 I am so pleased that you enjoyed the piece . I really enjoyed writing it , too !

  8. Shelly on June 12, 2011 at 12:57 am

    You had my heart pounding.

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 10:57 am

      Your “pounding heart” makes mine swell up with joy ! Thank you for letting me know !

  9. pure2core on June 12, 2011 at 7:44 am

    I am so happy to see the varied and lovely dimensions of monsoon times this thursday rally…Cool…THat's really fantastic write…Thanks for share…..

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 10:58 am

      Welcome to my blog and thank you for the comment ! 🙂

  10. marit on June 12, 2011 at 7:50 am

    wow, I love reading all this about storms! very evocative! 😀

    • mish on June 12, 2011 at 11:00 am

      Thank you for visiting my blog and for the cool comment ! 🙂

  11. bendedspoon on June 13, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Remarkable write — I am catching my breath! Our country is oftentimes visited by storms and it's worrisome each time. Not to mention the storms within as well 😉

    • mish on June 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm

      I sometimes think that the internal storms cause more damage than the external ones , simply because they’re hidden and can go undetected for a long time . Thanks for the visit !

  12. tara tyler on June 13, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    excellent job! had a nite like that last week!

    • mish on June 13, 2011 at 4:14 pm

      Hey TTT ~ good to see you back in Blogland ! Thanks for popping in !

  13. Shail Raghuvanshi on June 17, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    A good picturisation Mish. Good one….

    • mish on June 17, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      Thanks Shail ! 🙂

Leave a Comment

Notice: Undefined variable: user_ID in /home/writerintrans/public_html/wp-content/themes/bb-theme/comments.php on line 69