Five Sentence Fiction #9 – COMPOSURE
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
Svetlana sucked deeply and blew a series of rings into the air.
She was right on time, to the minute, as always, and proceeded to the final phase, which fed her vanity and was by far the most satisfying moment – the finishing touches and a post-operational appraisal of her handiwork.
Lowering the half-smoked cigarette, to stub the glowing tip on the lower half of the torso and then grind it deep and firm into the exposed portion of tender, pink flesh, always produced the familiar, adrenalin-pumping stench and added the well-recognised "designer" trademark.
Hurried footsteps and urgent voices in the outside corridor signalled knock-off time…
It was all in a day's work.
So she marked her work with a cigarette burn? Ha! Nice setup of her character and attitude. Nice work, M!
She wants to leave a lasting impression… make her mark… in more ways than one! LOL!
She's vicious!
Now that's putting it mildly!
My guess is she works in a funeral home doing hair and makeup on the bodies. This one is really creepy, but such a great tease. And yes. She certainly is composed.
*chuckles* Mmm… a possibility!? I'm not telling… 🙂
Whoa! Dark character….puts me in mind to tackle the outline for my mystery novel. Really good!!
Mystery novel… that sounds awesome! Happy tackling! 🙂
What isn't explained in this piece simply adds to its horror. Really well done.
My intention was to horrify the reader, so it seems like it worked… sort of… thanks Sandra!
"All in a days work!" Lol! Love it. Well done.
I tried to reveal her matter-of-fact approach and composure, and just couldn't resist the cheeky ending! Thanks Mina.
Oh what a great teaser! This character is so deliciously compsed and dark, love it. Makes me think of a cold assassin of some kind…Will there be more to this? Please…… (:
Yes! Yes! Yes! 🙂 Cold assassin is exactly what I was aiming fore this time!
Good and creepy. Nice use of the prompt!
Thanks Britton – glad you were creeped out!
Yikes! That sure was creepy, and certainly exemplified the prompt. I've written some flash fiction, but I don't think I could manage a story in 5 lines. Good for you!
I'm sure you could manage a story in 5 sentences if you put your mind to it! And it takes practice. I don't know whether my 5 sentence stories fit the flash fic profile, but I'm trying… as often as possible.
There are so many possible scenarios, but I think this is a case about a med student with issues. Perhaps after spending too much time working on cadavers, she got a little carried away. "Post operational," and the "corridor" are clues that this could be taking place in a hospital, but Jayne and Elise's suggestions also make sense. In any event, this is brilliant, edge of your seat writing! I hope you tell us the real meaning behind the story Michelle, and I also hope that this is not the last we've heard of her!
Elise's suggestion was spot on! Though the above scenario could play out in a number of different ways… 🙂 Thanks Julie! I appreciate the comments!
Wow, heavy! She is one intense character! I liked it Michelle.
Thanks Carolyn! I was aiming for a dark, heavy and intense character, but not too sure if it hit the mark…
Sooo many possibilities with that one. I don't think she is a nice girl one would bring home to Mother.
Definitely NOT your take-her-home-to-momma kinda girl *shudders*
love it! so cat and mouse. what a fierce cat!
A feline who loves a challenge and is top of her game! LOL!
Great character, calm and collected killer delighting in their work
Spot on! You hit the nail on the head! 🙂
Definitely sparks the imagination!
Yes… it certainly does… allows the imagination to run riot!! Thanks Kate! Welcome to my place.
Very cool…I fear she's done this so often, she won't get caught… Lovely character study!
I was hoping to create the impression that she's done this often… I'm glad you thought so… thanks Lisa!
Love this piece and the whole idea of this 5 sentence limitation. I like the tight framework which is probably why I'm currently obsessed with Haiku. Thanks for stopping by my blog – Act 2 is up now.
Thanks for the visit Perle! 🙂 I also love haiku writing, but don't have enough time to indulge myself… I do try the haiku challenge from time to time… yes, it's certainly a great way to practise concise and tight writing…
What a personality! All in a day's work… I don't think I'd like to run into her! Great writing, as usual.
Thanks Sherry! I'd be terrified at the thought of crossing paths with such a personality…:)
a total vixen!
Nutschell
http://www.thewritingnut.com
Now that's a lovely word! When last have I heard the word vixen? *chuckles*
WOW! That's really something. The shortest story I've written was 200 words, so that's definitely longer than five sentences. Kudos to you!
Thanks Claudia!
A great story.
This is definitely a lady you would not want to meet on a dark night, or in fact any night!
Mind you it sounds as if she enjoys her work.
Thanks Mike! She's a nasty piece allright… Yes, she REALLY enjoys what she does!
First off, 'Svetlana' is THE perfect name for the woman in the photo. And second, whoa, super creepy! Chilling character created in just a few sentences.
She definitely resembles a Svetlana… and it's the first time that I didn't battle with a character's name. I suppose it's because I had the photo to work from. I usually struggle with naming of characters.
This is a dark piece written real well. I have a true sense of the character from these sentences. She's creepy.
I'm so glad that the creepy factor worked, because that's what I intended for the character. 🙂 Thank you Medeia.
Nice one! Sucked me right in. 🙂
I'm glad you were caught up! Thanks David. 🙂
Svetlana is definitely NOT someone I'd pull off the "needs a roomate" board.
Ha! You'd have to sleep with one eye open… 🙂 Thanks Leslie!
oh my! what an interesting character to be sure!
Nutschell
http://www.thewritingnut.com
Yes, never a dull moment with this one! he!he! Thanks for visiting, Nutschell.