Five Sentence Fiction #17 – DETOUR
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
Bob's so-called map turned out to be nothing more than a few horizontal and vertical bisecting strokes, which he consulted with the utmost care.
We were already way off course trying to negotiate unnavigable terrain fraught with unknown obstacles; so when the tiny vehicle hit a boulder, wobbled, made a desperate attempt to avoid a pothole, spluttered and shuddered to a standstill, a dreaded silence settled.
Nothing stirred.
The glare of the foglights revealed a wooden structure.
It jutted from the ground, a crude and makeshift sign, roughly-hewn, tilted to the left like a reluctant, bad-postured nightwatchman on overtime duty.
They should've made that left turn at Albuquerque.
Try telling that to Bob! 🙂
Uh-oh. I've been lost, but never stuck like this.
Great piece.
This is really a classic case of being stuck in the middle of nowhere…
I failed every map test known to man in school. Great piece as usual.
Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly
Geography/mapwork wasn't my strong point either…
Who was riding shotgun?
A clueless co-driver, of course. 🙂 I'm not divulging his/her identity. LOL.
Every mapI look at is just a selection of lines to me 😉 – I absolutely loved that last line!
I'm not very good with maps either. Thank you Sarah. 🙂
I like this. I want to know what the sign says!
Being lost is not fun . . . hope the characters find their way out of wherever they are. 🙂
Another winner! The last line is my favorite!
Great imagery!
excellent descriptive scene! creepy! great job!
@Wayne ~ it says "detour: this way…"
@Golden Eagle ~ well, I think it's going to take them a while to figure out something…
@Julie ~ thanks Julie.
@Sherry ~ glad the imagery captured your attention.
@Tara ~ creepy is the response I had hoped for…
Now which way?
Mmmm… good question!
Spookery at its finest. I'm sure it will be mere moments now until the ghouls arrive.
Ha! Give me the ghouls. The alternative is a deranged psycho/serial-killer-on-the-prowl… 🙂
Love the 5 lines. Wonderful imagery, Michelle!
Thanks Rachna!
Don't go in there! Haven't they ever heard Hotel California!?! Great story :p
Mmm, great song with some awesome lyrics… this could be heaven or this could be hell… which one? Thanks Jennifer.
Sometimes our instincts are better than any map, or gps device.
Yep, that gut feeling should be followed… it's 99% spot on…
Love the imagery and the way you've set the scene for even more excitement!
The adventure… or is it nightmare?… is only beginning…
I don't normally tout the merits of SUVs, but in this case…
🙂
I'm with you on this one… rough terrain = 4X4… 🙂
woops 😉
*chuckles* Woops… is the appropriate response! Wish them luck…
Wouldn't want to be in that car!
I so agree! 🙂 Thanks Lisa!
I think they followed a creekbed instead of a road!
Creekbed? I'll have to google it, to see exactly what it is… 🙂
I'll bet wasn't on the trip and didn't get lost in the dead of night. 😀