Five Sentence Fiction #16 – EXQUISITE
Happy birthday to Five Sentence Fiction on one year of awesomeness!
This week take a look at the words from the past year, and choose whichever one strikes your fancy to use in your post.
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What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
Every item, accessory and wall hanging was perfectly positioned, from the leather suites and various ottomans which appeared brand new, as if they had never felt the pressure or warmth of human bodies reclining in the luxurious depths; and my wandering eyes which had darted non-stop, from left to right, in an attempt to absorb the magnificence, finally succumbed… and my gaze came to a standstill, captured by a delicate Chinese porcelain vase (probably antique), which was in a carefully designated spot, at just the right angle, not a centimetre out of place…
The room was a stunning image directly out of Interior Decor 101, faultless… yet cold and uninviting, devoid of atmosphere…
I felt a wave of homesickness and longed for the comfort of my cramped living quarters, with its faded couch purchased at a garage sale, the threadbare carpet that had seen better days, the entrance mirror which reflected a distorted image courtesy of the diagonal crack from right-hand top to bottom, the once-powder-blue walls crying out for a lick of paint…
And as I gazed around the magnificent showpiece which was to be my temporary home, I wondered whether the airy, pine-scented room had reverberated with the warmth of human laughter; whether the perfectly painted ochre-tinted walls had ever experienced the smudges of tiny mud-caked hands; whether the glossy oregon-pine floors adorned with Persian rugs had borne the weight of hordes of teenage sneakers traipsing in and out.
Not likely, was the final summation!
Life and aesthetics are miles apart! Nice rendered.
That's for sure… thanks Andy!
Happy 1 year 5SF! 😀
Nice descriptions Mich. Give me an old comfy couch over a sterile interior anyday!
Absolutely! You have to feel free to kick off your shoes, put your feet up… although these types of homes probably have a seperate "casual" lounge where you can do just that… 🙂
Yeah, I think it's called the garage. 😀
Ouch! Love the snark… 🙂
Those are some long sentences! Happy anniversary.
And for me, that's part of the appeal of 5 Sentence Fiction – you can alternate sentence length as required or as the piece dictates…
Sounds uncomfortable. I prefer the comfortable, lived-in look.
Exquisitely uncomfortable… LOL. Simple comfort wins hands down!
We chose the same word and used it in very different ways – I love your descriptions and eye for detail and, although I may admire opulence, Id rather have comfort any day too!
I also admire opulence, to a certain extent… but sometimes it's so overdone, that it borders on ridiculous… and your piece was exquisitely intense… reminiscent of a "phoenix rising from the ashes"…
What a creatively detailed piece! I felt as though I was right in the room with you after I carefully took off my shoes, and found a comfortable place in the corner to stand, as I wouldn't want to put a dent in the furniture! Happy Anniversary!
Well, to be honest, I'd join you standing in the corner, rooted to one spot for fear of accidentally knocking over a priceless antique… LOL 🙂
I always wonder if the fancy interior design you see in promotions would actually be nice to live in. Love your descriptions!
I think that if you are born into that lifestyle, then it's what you are accustomed to. Thanks G.E.
Those are long sentences – but they're fantastic! Happy one year birthday!
I love to experiment with sentences of different lengths. And 5 Sentence Fiction allows for this.Thanks Sherry!
Jane Austen would have been impressed by your first sentence, despite the lack of semicolons. The long 3rd and 4th sentences don't seem as forced.
I do like what you've done here. I makes me want to know more about your unnamed protagonist, and how she got into this situation.
Cheers!
JzB
Oooooh, Jane Austen is MAJOR league!! I did get a bit carried away in the first sentence so that it doesn't really flow as naturally as the 3rd and 4th… Thanks for the feedback JB. 🙂
There's a lot to be said for a comfortable and inviting place to call home, isn't there? 🙂
You are so right about that, Karen. 🙂 Being surrounded by all that magnificence does not guarantee happiness. Home must be a place of comfort…
I'd live in the house with the cracked mirror any day! Can't stand the stuffiness. Nicely done 🙂
A cracked mirror reinforces the imperfections and "cracks" which form part of humanity – the reality of life is that we are not perfect, although some people hide behind a facade of perfection… just some thoughts… thanks for the visit and comment, Jemi… 🙂
Great details! It makes me very grateful for my home. 🙂
Yes, there are thousands who don't have a safe place to call home, so it makes me grateful for what I have! 🙂 Thanks Em.
Happy 5S anniversary! Great post. Home is for living in and not a showpiece.
Nas
So right, Nas. Home is where we go to relax… unwind… chill out… put our feet up if needs be. 🙂
wonderful celebration, congrats to your inspiration!
Thanks Tara! 5 Sentence Fiction really inspires me. 🙂
Nicely done! It's tricky packing a punch in only 5 sentences. But fun trying! 🙂
…with the emphasis on the FUN bit… I really enjoy it! 🙂
I could smell the leather. Very nice!
Thanks Rose! 🙂
I noticed a comment about long sentences….which are well done, indeed. I'm also sure you're pretty much writing this off the cuff. As a rule of thumb, short sentences mixed in a paragraph with longs ones totally work,
Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly
Love yuor writing voice.
That's what I try to do with FSF… different sentence lengths every week. Sometimes I alternate long and short sentences. Once I tried 5 very short sentences. It just depends on the prompt and my mood. I often let the idea stew for a day before I attempt to write anything… thanks Shelly! 🙂
Great description, the exercise sounds like a great idea for using brevity without losing descriptive text.
It's a great way to practise lean, tight writing!
Love the contrasts here!
Thanks Carol!
I can tell you right now, that is not our house!
Said in a tone of adamance? Relief? LOL
Very rich writing. I like the dots(…) gives a nice flow and makes it seem quite dreamy. I definitely prefer the lived-in look, too! You did a great job of conjuring up a picture.
Thanks Nick. The dots(…) are my favourite punctuation. But I think that I over-use them because I constantly throw them into my writing, even in places where they don't belong…
I'd rather be someplace lived-in.
Great piece.
I feel the same way, Medeia.