Five Sentence Fiction #3 – SILENCE

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

                                                      

                                                         In Silence by: Chiharu Shiota

Thunderous applause.

Standing ovations.

From one city to the next…  night after night.

The rapt expression lingers for a few minutes, then fades, only to be greeted by a deafening silence and shrouded remnants that tell of a bygone era.

The bent frame attempts a final bow, gnarled fingers fumble for the stick and he hobbles toward the exit sign, thoughtfulness etched upon the tear-filled face.

23 Comments

  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh on May 25, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Very sad. He's playing to an empty theater.

  2. Elise Fallson on May 25, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    )'-: We all have to take our final bow at some point.

  3. Robert on May 25, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    It's hard to tell a complete story in five sentences – you've done it to perfection!
    Robert

  4. Tracy Brown on May 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Well done! I like how you started with noise, then ended in one man's silent exit.

    • michelle on May 27, 2012 at 8:21 am

      @Alex ~ actually, he's re-living memories of his former years of glory, in a now-empty run-down theatre

      @Elise ~ how do we know when that point has arrived?

      @Robert ~ thanks for the generous words… I appreciate it.

      @Tracy ~ I tried to chart the progress from a celebrated muso to an old man with memories…

  5. Lisa Shambrook (@LastKrystallos) on May 25, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    I too, liked the change from thunderous noise to silence…very poignant.

  6. tara tyler on May 25, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    tremendous emotion! nice piece of writing!

  7. The Golden Eagle on May 25, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    Oh, how sad. I loved the writing, though!

    • michelle on May 27, 2012 at 8:24 am

      @Lisa ~ it serves to heighten the silence…

      @Tara ~ for a once-celebrated musician, the silence would be very intense…

      @G.E. ~ thanks Golden… I appreciate the visit.

  8. Murees Dupé on May 26, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Wow Michelle! This is really fantastic. Wonderfully writen and I really enjoyed it. That is definitely the kind of writing that packs a punch. Good for you. 

  9. Sherry Ellis on May 27, 2012 at 2:42 am

    How did you make something so sad in five sentences?  Amazing.  The visual I get just makes me want to cry – especially since I am a performing musician.

    • michelle on May 27, 2012 at 8:28 am

      @Murees ~ your wonderful comments have put a smile on my dial! Thank you.

      @Sherry ~ picture the scene… a celebrated musician who once played to overflowing audiences, and returns decades later to find a run-down and neglected building…imagine the memories he has? I knew you would understand… 🙂

  10. Susan Kane on May 28, 2012 at 1:59 am

    Powerful!  Very powerful. 

  11. mary aalgaard on May 28, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    It's so ghosty. Like the entire orchestra was hit by the plague, or poisoned, and no one was left to put the chairs away and close the piano.

  12. Sandra Crook on May 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Beautifully paced, almost prose-like.  Nicely done.

  13. michelle on May 28, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    @Susan ~ thank you!

    @Mary ~ yes, definitely has an atmosphere of abandonment… very eerie…

    @Sandra ~ thanks for the visit and comment!

  14. J.L. Campbell on May 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Ah, makes me think of artistry that is no longer appreciated. You've shown how devastating this must be for the artiste. Good story in few words.

  15. Donna B. McNicol [@donnabmcnicol] on May 29, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Haunting tale…perfect imagery….well done (as usual).

  16. michelle on May 29, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    @Joy ~ yes, all he has are memories… the stark reality is devastating…

    @Donna ~ thanks for the generous comments… I tried to craft the tale from the picture provided…

  17. Wayne Assiratti on May 29, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Hey there, cheers for the follow! Much appreciated. I really like the writing exercises on your blog and think I'm going to have a bash at them to see where I go. 
     
    I'll keep my eye out for your new stuff. 
    Cheers, 
    W. 

    • michelle on May 30, 2012 at 10:19 am

      Welcome to my blog, Wayne! Five Sentence Fiction is a wonderful challenge… you should definitely give it a go!

  18. sjp on May 30, 2012 at 6:16 am

    Instantly began to hum Night After Night by Laura Marling, quite fitting to this tale of aging

  19. michelle on May 30, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Well, you got me with this one. I'm off to google the song… ———–whooshes away——————-

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