Five Sentence Fiction #11 – VICTORY

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.


It was the match of the century.

David versus Goliath.

The plaintiff – placid and nondescript, suitably attired in a casual grey suit, remained an impassive, unseeing character in a still-life painting, as the two concurrent life sentences were handed down and the court erupted in a wild frenzy.

The defendant – determined to play out his role as court-jester until the bitter end, despite multiple warnings from his lawyer, failed to practice the promised restraint and, with the familiar smirk in place, he delivered a mock bow and salute, much to the delight of the spectators and in full view of the countless journalists who had travelled thousands of kilometers, to capture the spectacle.

Nearby – the distraught mother, trapped in the middle of a living hell from which there seemed no end.


  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh on August 6, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Makes me wonder what side the mother is on?

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:30 pm

      She's caught in the middle of her two sons!

  2. Ryan Derham on August 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    Definitely makes one think about who is actually victorious and concluding that there is no real victory here at all. Excellent work, as always!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      Spot on R! Glad you made that deduction. That was my intention with this piece – nobody emerges victorious… 🙁

  3. Carol Kilgore on August 6, 2012 at 10:10 pm

    Cool. Makes the reader think, too.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Glad it has that effect.

  4. Elise Fallson on August 6, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    I want to know what he did to get two concurrent life sentences!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Something unthinkable… but he's not too perturbed by it!

  5. Shelly on August 6, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    Hey Michelle:
    Very interesting…I love reading your stuff but you already know that.
    Anyway, Sir Poops and Hair Ball dropped you an e-mail with interview questions for What's Your Nosh Tuesdays. I hope you got it.
    Hugs and chocolate,

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      Thanks Shelly. I'll drop you a mail with the answers asap. XX

  6. Janelle on August 7, 2012 at 6:05 am

    Oh wow.  It's almost like the other details of the story up to this point are minor and don't need to be told, this is the most crucial part, no more needs to be said.  That takes real talent to be able to squeeze as much power in to such a small amount of words as you've done here.  Particularly as the first two sentences are tiny.  Brilliant!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:38 pm

      Thank you Janelle. I appreciate the warm comment! 🙂 I try to vary the length of the sentences from one piece to the next. It depends on the prompt and on my mood… 🙂

  7. Teresa C. on August 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    I love this. So intriguing and a little surprising at the end. Love it.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm

      Thanks for popping in, Teresa!

  8. Tonja on August 7, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    The last sentence definitely leaves me wanting more.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:45 pm

      The poor mother… trapped between her two sons…

  9. Medeia Sharif on August 7, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    This definitely make me thing about media circuses that only touch the surface of events, attitudes and emotions involved, and the life-changing things that go on behind the scenes.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

      We'll never know what trauma these people go through… it's like a double blow, the devastating event + the court proceedings… all they probably want is some privacy to deal with the different issues…

  10. L. Diane Wolfe on August 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    And the guilty gets the glory.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:51 pm

      … in this scenario, yes!

  11. Rosalind Smith-Nazilli on August 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    First time here for me.
    Love the way you capture the moment and I can't help thinking these guys are all tied together somehow..  Awesome..xx

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:53 pm

      You've hit the nail on the head! The guys are brothers, and their poor mother is watching this media circus… thanks Rosalind. And welcome to my place! 🙂

  12. The Golden Eagle on August 7, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    I love the use of multiple perspectives; the characters are clearly going through different emotions!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

      I actually enjoyed writing from these multiple perspectives. Something different. Thanks G.E.

  13. Rekha on August 7, 2012 at 7:22 pm

    Makes me curious to know more of what the mother has at stake…intriguing and liked the diff POVs.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

      This is a family battle – the mum is caught in between two sons… 🙁 Thanks Rek!

  14. Julie on August 7, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Wowza! I love your play on double sentences! Thank goodness for commas! It always comes down to a mother's suffering in the end!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      *chuckles* Yes, the comma to the rescue once again! And I also tend to over-use the ellipsis……

      You're so right –  the worse thing about this scenario… a mother's bitter tears… it's so unfair!

  15. J.L. Campbell on August 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Hey, Michelle,
    You do pack a big punch into your stories. Your choice of words helps so much with characterization. Good job.

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 5:01 pm

      Thanks Joy! I appreciate and welcome the constructive crit. I'm learning all the time… 🙂

  16. Sherry Ellis on August 8, 2012 at 12:54 am

    What a great picture you painted!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

      Thanks Sherry! I'm glad you responded to the visual aspect!

  17. tara tyler on August 8, 2012 at 11:48 am

    that was fantastic! great avenue you took!

    • michelle on August 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

      I tried for a surprise, unexpected ending… seems to have worked! 🙂

  18. Wayne Assiratti on August 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm

    Cracking, as always! 

  19. michelle on August 9, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Thanks Wayne! I also enjoyed your "brotherly themed" piece! Although, yours portrayed a healthy version of  sibling rivalry…

  20. Lillie McFerrin on August 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    Amazing way to take this! That last sentence is a rough one; no real winner here to her. Excellent writing as always 🙂

    • michelle on August 9, 2012 at 5:20 pm

      Thanks Lillie! I didn't know where this piece was leading to, and the final sentence came to me at the last moment. I really, really enjoyed writing this one 🙂

  21. Misha on August 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    Very well written! Reminds me that there are no winners once justice has to be served. The damage can't be undone. 

  22. michelle on August 11, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    So very true! Thanks Misha!

  23. Mark K on August 12, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    I don't know what's wrong, but I've received no notification of the new Five Sentence Fiction since I joined you folks? No notrification via FaceBook or anywhere else? Is there something I need to be doing to get these notifications?

  24. michelle on August 12, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    The new prompt word is posted every Thursday at 12: 01 am EST and the linky is open through until the following Wednesday at 11:59 pm

    You can check out more details at the host site, which is  🙂

  25. Lexa Cain on August 21, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Nice work! I really liked this, though I wouldn't have guessed it referred to Mom caught in between two sons. You sure can put a lot of vivid images in one sentence! 🙂

  26. michelle on August 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Thanks Lexa! Glad you stopped by! 🙂

  27. Robyn Campbell on October 5, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    *waves peace sign* Hey Michelle! Thanks to the hackers, I can only comment when I'm signed in to the blog and it's unnerving to sign in. Love this piece. I love all your writing, but you already know that. You are a GENIUS at characterization. Poor Mom.
    I have four more posts to put up then I am deleting my blog and moving to WordPress. *sigh* STUPID HACKERS! Anyway, I think of you often. Write on, pal!

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