Five Sentence Fiction #21 – VISION

What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week the hostess will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction

Source

I stared you in the face – bold and defiant, as usual.

We eyeballed each other, the familiar all-knowing smirk that I had come to recognise was absent from your face and somehow, instinctively, I knew, it was time to settle an old score.

The self-proclaimed vow, that I would not bow out gracefully come the pivotal moment; that I'd go kicking, screaming, thrashing, fighting… seemed irrelevant now…

And as you reached out your hand to escort me onto the conveyor belt of eternity, like you had done with millions before me, the moment of inevitability was a blinding revelation…

I had cheated you thrice, but this time, there was no turning back!

24 Comments

  1. Alex J. Cavanaugh on December 23, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Can't cheat death this time.
    Very good, Michelle! (And hopefully I figured it out.)

    • michelle on December 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Spot on, Alex! Yes, you figured it out! 🙂

  2. Medeia Sharif on December 25, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    I loved the "conveyor belt of eternity." Great piece. 

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

      Thanks Medeia!

  3. Guilie on December 25, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Loved it! Great piece! Merry Christmas, sweetie 🙂

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:50 am

      Hope you had a good Christmas, Guilie. Here's to a prosperous New Year! 🙂

  4. Julie on December 26, 2012 at 4:51 am

    Another gem of a story in five sentences! Hope you are enjoying the holiday season Michelle!

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:52 am

      Thanks Julie! I'ts been a quiet, peaceful season. Happy New Year! 🙂

  5. The Golden Eagle on December 26, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Great flash fiction! I really like the premise of cheating death.

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:53 am

      Thanks Golden Eagle. Happy New Year!

  6. Tonja on December 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    I especially like the third sentence.

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:54 am

      Thanks Tonja! Happy Holidays!

  7. Sherry Ellis on December 27, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    Cheating death three times?  Wow.  Makes me wonder what happened the other two times.  Great piece of flash fiction.

    • michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:55 am

      Thanks Sherry! 🙂

  8. Carol Kilgore on December 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Haunting story. Great job!

  9. michelle on December 29, 2012 at 7:55 am

    Happy New Year Carol! 🙂

  10. tammy theriault on December 30, 2012 at 6:00 am

    ok, fav line out of it: And as you reached out your hand to escort me onto the conveyor belt of eternity…. awesome michelle, very awesome

    • michelle on December 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Thanks Tammy! 🙂

  11. Charmaine Clancy on December 30, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    This was great, yes I also like the convey belt imagery!

    • michelle on December 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Thanks Charmaine! 🙂

  12. Natasha Hanova on December 31, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    LOVE it!

    • michelle on December 31, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      I'm glad you enjoyed it, Natasha! 🙂

  13. Lexa Cain on January 13, 2013 at 7:22 pm

    I love the idea of a "conveyor belt of eternity." That's brilliant! Congrats on a very dynamic five sentence flash fiction. Great job! 🙂

  14. michelle on January 15, 2013 at 8:13 am

    Thanks Lexa! 🙂

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