FOURTH CAMPAIGN: Challenge no. #2
This is the second challenge for the campaign. Go here for more information. I must admit that I battled with this one, but I was determined to complete it.
I've used the 4 pictures in my 200-word story which is written in a mixture of sci-fi… and something else? Totally out of my comfort zone!
* * * * * * * *
"Do you remember the early days?"
"Don't I ever…" he chuckled.
"… the self-combustible fruit—-"
"—- was the highlight of my career! Talk about the 'fruit' of my labours."
"Come, put this on." The metal hat on her head was connected to wires. He activated a switch.
A variety of images assaulted her eyes.
"Welcome to my Retinograph. Images are projected from your brain onto the screen."
Horrific scenes of poverty-stricken children flashed before her eyes. She blinked thrice. The images changed.
"And the best is yet to come. Are you ready?"
"Is it safe?"
"As safe as can be. I ventured a little farther back, yesterday…"
Her eyes popped. "I don't believe you! What was it like?"
"Exhilirating! I left your red jacket behind."
"My jacket? Whatever for?"
"Well, I traded it for a football."
"A football?"
"Not just any ball, mind you… try 1930?" He peered down his pince-nez.
"The first World Cup soccer ball? You didn't!"
"Stand here. In a short while we'll be on the adventure of a lifetime."
There was a low hum. High voltage generated static. Various objects crackled lightly. A shimmer appeared and translated into a beam of white light which flashed… brilliant… and———
If you want to vote for me, I'm no. 103 on the linky list.
I like how these all flow in and I am a stickler for dialogue so using it was a great choice to not have to worry about segueways and such.
Oh yeah, my entry was #84. Happy writing (and reading)!
Using dialogue seemed to be the best way for me to approach this challenge… thanks!
Ah, cliffhanger! Now I want to know to where they travel. Great entry. 🙂
Thanks Eagle. Phew, this sci-fi thingie was quite a challenge for me… 🙂
I'm with Eagle, where to next ? 🙂
I barely made it through this challenge and you want to know what happens after? 🙂
Wonderful writing keeping us on the edge. Now you have to expand it a little more. Sound like you could write more in the sci fi genre. 😉
Rek… me writing more in this genre? I'm not sure about that… thanks for the vote of confidence, though… 🙂
Oh, I liked this. I liked the whole idea of the retinography and experiencing history through the "eyes" of another. Well done! (#30)
Thanks Liza. I took a chance and gave it my best shot!
Wonderful job here! Verrrry fun. You have a unique style and the way you approached the prompts was fun! 😀
I'm glad that you enjoyed it! 🙂
No, not a cliffhanger!! Like so many other comments, I too want to read more. Your dialogue is great, not forced and flows nicely. Wish there was more… (:
Thanks Elise – you have to blame the 200-word limit which put an end to the possibility of more…:)
This was great fun to read and a very innovative idea. Smooth use of the prompts. Very nice!
My aim was to create a smooth transition from one prompt to another… which was very difficult. Thanks!
Amazing job! I loved how your characters played off one another. :0)
Thanks for popping in, Mina! 🙂
Well done, Mich…I like the idea of including the photos! I'm giving you a "like". If you get the chance, stop by and check out my entry #70
Thanks Jarm – I'm off to check it out now——- *whoosh*
Mish, you seem to have a great personality and it comes out in your writing! I really enjoyed this, going to Rach's to hit the "like"! See ya!
Aww C.M. Thanks for the compliment! 🙂 It means a lot to me because I struggled with this challenge!
HELLO! I tagged you on my blog today. 🙂
Hi Margo! I'm off to check it out———- 🙂
Oh nice. I like the time travel concept, Nice use of the prompts! Definitely want to know what happens next.
Thanks Fairview!
Wow – this is very innovative! I haven't read anything quite like it and I really enjoyed the change of pace. Great use of dialogue to tell this very unique story!
Thank you C.B. I appreciate the feedback!
I've just visited your blog and read your piece. I must say that for your first attempt at fantasy, your flash fic is excellent!
Hi Mish! Yes, I'm still alive (and working on that letter–shame on me). In the meantime, I left you a tag for the Lucky 7 Meme on my blog. Hope you have fun with it!
Hey G – how ya doin'? I'll hop over in a minute and check it out… 🙂
Great job, especially since it's not in your genre. (I would of never known.) I agree with the others… Where to next? 🙂
Where to next? Me and the sci-fi genre… highly improbable… not gonna happen! 🙂 I've never ever thought about it!
I'm always impressed when people tell a story mostly through dialog. And pince-nez? Love it – you don't see those mentioned very often! 🙂
Well, I figured out that , since I wanted to use a different genre, and sci-fi seemed to be the obvious option, it was best to get through this daunting challenge by using mainly dialogue. So that was the main focus of my response! 🙂
I really enjoyed the dialogue. Well done.
Thanks Chrissy! 🙂
Great dialogue! It's not always easy to have a natural flow about it but you did a good job!
From the comments thus far, it seems like opting for the dialogue-route was the correct approach for this particular challenge… thanks Honey!
I can totally relate to what you're saying about struggling with this challenge, but your entry doesn't read like you had a hard time! It's great seeing people write in different genres than they usually do and I really enjoyed reading this 🙂
Well, that certainly makes me feel good! Thanks for the visit and the warm comments! I appreciate it! 🙂
This sounds like the start of an excellent adventure. Good concept.
Lee
An A to Z Co-Host
<a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/">Tossing It Out</a>
<a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/see-to-z-videos-here.html"> Voting for A to Z Video Contest Now Open</a>
Thanks for the visit & comment, Lee!
Interesting concept! I like the Retinograph.
<a href="thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/">Shannon at The Warrior Muse</a>, co-host of the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/">2012 #atozchallenge</a>! Twitter: @AprilA2Z