FOURTH CAMPAIGN: Challenge no. #2

This is the second challenge for the campaign. Go here for more information. I must admit that I battled with this one, but I was determined to complete it.

I've used the 4 pictures in my 200-word story which is written in a mixture of sci-fi… and something else? Totally out of my comfort zone!

                        *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *  

"Do you remember the early days?"

"Don't I ever…" he chuckled.

"… the self-combustible fruit—-"

"—- was the highlight of my career! Talk about the 'fruit' of my labours."

                                                

"Come, put this on." The metal hat on her head was connected to wires. He activated a switch.

A variety of images assaulted her eyes.

"Welcome to my Retinograph. Images are projected from your brain onto the screen."

Horrific scenes of poverty-stricken children flashed before her eyes. She blinked thrice. The images changed.

                                                    

"And the best is yet to come. Are you ready?"

"Is it safe?"

"As safe as can be. I ventured a little farther back, yesterday…"

Her eyes popped. "I don't believe you! What was it like?"

"Exhilirating! I left your red jacket behind."

                                               

"My jacket? Whatever for?"

"Well, I traded it for a football."

"A football?"

"Not just any ball, mind you… try 1930?" He peered down his pince-nez.

"The first World Cup soccer ball? You didn't!"

"Stand here. In a short while we'll be on the adventure of a lifetime."

There was a low hum. High voltage generated static. Various objects crackled lightly. A shimmer appeared and translated into a beam of white light which flashed… brilliant… and———

                                                

If you want to vote for me, I'm no. 103 on the linky list.

44 Comments

  1. Jenn Baker on March 9, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    I like how these all flow in and I am a stickler for dialogue so using it was a great choice to not have to worry about segueways and such.

    • Jenn Baker on March 9, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      Oh yeah, my entry was #84. Happy writing (and reading)!

    • mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      Using dialogue seemed to be the best way for me to approach this challenge… thanks!

  2. The Golden Eagle on March 10, 2012 at 1:28 am

    Ah, cliffhanger! Now I want to know to where they travel. Great entry. 🙂

    • mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Thanks Eagle. Phew, this sci-fi thingie was quite a challenge for me… 🙂

  3. Sarah Pearson on March 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

    I'm with Eagle, where to next ? 🙂

    • mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

      I barely made it through this challenge and you want to know what happens after? 🙂

  4. Rek on March 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Wonderful writing keeping us on the edge. Now you have to expand it a little more. Sound like you could write more in the sci fi genre. 😉

    • mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:15 pm

      Rek… me writing more in this genre? I'm not sure about that… thanks for the vote of confidence, though… 🙂

  5. Liza on March 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    Oh, I liked this.  I liked the whole idea of the retinography and experiencing history through the "eyes" of another. Well done! (#30)
     

    • mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

      Thanks Liza. I took a chance and gave it my best shot!

  6. Morgan Shamy on March 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    Wonderful job here! Verrrry fun. You have a unique style and the way you approached the prompts was fun! 😀

  7. mish on March 10, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    I'm glad that you enjoyed it!  🙂

  8. Elise Fallson on March 10, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    No, not a cliffhanger!! Like so many other comments, I too want to read more. Your dialogue is great, not forced and flows nicely. Wish there was more… (:

  9. mish on March 10, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Thanks Elise – you have to blame the 200-word limit which put an end to the possibility of more…:)

  10. Nick Wilford on March 11, 2012 at 7:54 am

    This was great fun to read and a very innovative idea. Smooth use of the prompts. Very nice!

    • mish on March 11, 2012 at 8:23 am

      My aim was to create a smooth transition from one prompt to another… which was very difficult. Thanks!

  11. Mina B on March 11, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Amazing job! I loved how your characters played off one another. :0)

  12. mish on March 11, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Thanks for popping in, Mina! 🙂

  13. Jarm Del Boccio on March 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Well done, Mich…I like the idea of including the photos!  I'm giving you a "like".  If you get the chance, stop by and check out my entry #70

    • mish on March 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      Thanks Jarm – I'm off to check it out now——- *whoosh*

  14. C.M. Brown on March 12, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Mish, you seem to have a great personality and it comes out in your writing! I really enjoyed this, going to Rach's to hit the "like"! See ya!

    • mish on March 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Aww C.M. Thanks for the compliment! 🙂 It means a lot to me because I struggled with this challenge!

  15. Margo Kelly on March 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    HELLO!  I tagged you on my blog today. 🙂

    • mish on March 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Hi Margo! I'm off to check it out———- 🙂

  16. Fairview on March 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Oh nice.  I like the time travel concept,  Nice use of the prompts!  Definitely want to know what happens next.

    • mish on March 12, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      Thanks Fairview!

  17. C.B. Wentworth on March 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Wow – this is very innovative!  I haven't read anything quite like it and I really enjoyed the change of pace.  Great use of dialogue to tell this very unique story!  

    • mish on March 12, 2012 at 8:11 pm

      Thank you C.B. I appreciate the feedback!

      I've just visited your blog and read your piece. I must say that for your first attempt at fantasy, your flash fic is excellent!

  18. Guilie on March 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    Hi Mish! Yes, I'm still alive (and working on that letter–shame on me). In the meantime, I left you a tag for the Lucky 7 Meme on my blog. Hope you have fun with it!

    • mish on March 12, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      Hey G – how ya doin'? I'll hop over in a minute and check it out… 🙂

  19. Jessica Salyer on March 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    Great job, especially since it's not in your genre. (I would of never known.) I agree with the others… Where to next? 🙂

    • mish on March 13, 2012 at 8:02 am

      Where to next? Me and the sci-fi genre… highly improbable… not gonna happen! 🙂 I've never ever thought about it!

  20. Jocelyn Rish on March 12, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    I'm always impressed when people tell a story mostly through dialog.  And pince-nez?  Love it – you don't see those mentioned very often! 🙂

  21. mish on March 13, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Well, I figured out that , since I wanted to use a different genre, and sci-fi seemed to be the obvious option, it was best to get through this daunting challenge by using mainly dialogue. So that was the main focus of my response! 🙂

  22. Chrissy on March 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

    I really enjoyed the dialogue. Well done. 

    • mish on March 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

      Thanks Chrissy! 🙂

  23. Honey on March 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Great dialogue!  It's not always easy to have a natural flow about it but you did a good job!

    • mish on March 13, 2012 at 8:04 pm

      From the comments thus far, it seems like opting for the dialogue-route was the correct approach for this particular challenge… thanks Honey!

  24. Stacey Mitchell on March 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    I can totally relate to what you're saying about struggling with this challenge, but your entry doesn't read like you had a hard time! It's great seeing people write in different genres than they usually do and I really enjoyed reading this 🙂

  25. mish on March 13, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    Well, that certainly makes me feel good! Thanks for the visit and the warm comments! I appreciate it! 🙂

  26. Arlee Bird on March 14, 2012 at 4:33 am

    This sounds like the start of an excellent adventure.  Good concept.
     
     
    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    <a href="http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/">Tossing It Out</a>
    <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/see-to-z-videos-here.html"&gt; Voting for A to Z Video Contest Now Open</a>
     

    • mish on March 14, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      Thanks for the visit & comment, Lee!

  27. Shannon Lawrence on March 15, 2012 at 6:00 am

    Interesting concept!  I like the Retinograph.
     
    <a href="thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/">Shannon at The Warrior Muse</a>, co-host of the <a href="http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/">2012 #atozchallenge</a>!  Twitter: @AprilA2Z

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