The Substance Of A Dream

By Michelle Wallace | October 14, 2011 |

This is a response to the 100 Word Challenge which is hosted over at Velvet Verbosity. This week the word is – SATISFIED.

The girls buzzed around the noticeboard like bees in pursuit of honey.

It was over.

Rayne had done it.

Striving for a coveted place in the elite squad about to leave for the annual international drum majorette competition, had been a see-saw six months. A long-standing friendship soured. Hours of gruelling practise meant the sacrifice of weekends and precious holidays. But the goal remained uppermost in her mind.

So why the hollow feeling ?

Her mother had warned her – having an appetite for something is different to having the stomach for it.

In the final analysis, you may not be satisfied.

Posted in Drabbles, Mish's Blog, Short Fiction and tagged 100~word story, creative writing, Drabble Challenge, drabble~prompts

12 Comments

Tara R. on October 14, 2011 at 9:33 pm

The Best Line: "having an appetite for something is different to having the stomach for it." Very wise 100 words.

Reply
- mish on October 15, 2011 at 8:27 am
  
  Thanks Tara. It also makes me think of the words, be careful what you wish for ‘cos you just might get it, then realise it’s not all that you thought it would be.
  
  Reply
Carrie on October 15, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I agree with Tara, that was by far the strongest line of the piece.
My only critique is this line: Striving for a coveted place in the elite squad about to leave for the annual international drum majorette competition, had been a see-saw six months.
It's too long and a little cumbersome. Reading this pulle dme out of the story and I had to read it a couple of time to get back into the flow.

Reply
- mish on October 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm
  
  It is quite a mouthful – it would have been better if I had made it three shorter sentences, I can see that now. Thanks for the concrit. I really appreciate it.
  
  Reply
Robin Hawke on October 15, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Interesting how so many of us wrote about hard-won goals. Helps me think of the word "satisfied" with new appreciation, Thanks Robin

Reply
- mish on October 15, 2011 at 9:29 pm
  
  I agree with you, thanks for popping in.
  
  Reply
Sarah Cass on October 16, 2011 at 12:50 am

Very nice take on the prompt. I've felt that hollow feeling before myself. Great message.

Reply
- mish on October 16, 2011 at 7:47 am
  
  Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
  
  Reply
The Drama Mama on October 16, 2011 at 3:18 am

I think it was great. I love that same line as well. It really packs a punch to the story, along with your ending.

Reply
- mish on October 16, 2011 at 7:52 am
  
  I’m so glad that you enjoyed my contribution. Thanks for swinging by.
  
  Reply
Velvet Verbosity on October 21, 2011 at 5:11 am

That was a great line from the mother. Resonates.

Reply
- mish on October 21, 2011 at 8:54 am
  
  Thanks for the visit and comment! And for hosting the 100-word challenge!
  
  Reply

12 Comments

Leave a Comment