To Swim Or Not To Swim ? Part I

The fuss and chaos that surrounded the end-of-the-world-story a few days ago , got me thinking about certain activities that I need to get moving … It crossed my mind that I really need to get back to my swimming lessons . I have been dragging my heels with this one … I really shouldn't procrastinate any longer …

I recall the first time I voiced this desire to learn to swim . Reaction to my news was varied . There was the typical raised eye-brows and other unreadable forms of body language . The verbal responses yielded an array of interesting , mainly 2-word phrases , which I have translated for my readers . This was accompanied by interesting facial expressions and mixed voice tones .

LISTENER NO. 1

"Swimming lessons?"

Now I wondered if the two words indicated a loss for words … A look of utter confusion followed . Like , duh-uh , why so late in your life ? Well , I wasn't aware of a specific time-frame to learn specific things – excuse me for being so stupid !

TRANSLATED : Are you feeling okay ?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

LISTENER NO. 2

"That's nice ."

Very cautiously . Bland facial expression .

Nice . Nice ? Nice ! Mrs. Smith , the kindergarten teacher who lives down the road , is nice . Tea , is nice . That yellow dress you are wearing , is nice . (Remember that TV advert ? Comprehendo ? Exactly !)

TRANSLATED : I'm not so sure but I hope it works out for you …

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————

LISTENER NO. 3

"Why now ?"

Smirk . In a nasty , you-were-always-a-dry-stick-sort-of-way .

Why not now , dude ? Answer me that .

TRANSLATED : Where were you when every teenager was going to the pool every summer ?

I was at home , dude . Reading up a storm . Preparing for the day I would write this blog that you are now reading (with such excitement , may I add … I can blog and swim , you can ONLY swim – so there !!! Eat your heart out Miss High-School-Freestyle-Champion-Swimmer !!!)

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

And so my lessons began . I was nervous at first (actually an understatement ) . I was tense . AND traumatized . The idea of putting my head under water (and keeping it there) , was terrifying ! SINCE THIS BLOG POST IS GOING TO TAKE MUCH LONGER THAN I BARGAINED FOR , YOU"LL HAVE TO LOG ON TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT PART OF MY STORY …